tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post3983472434058882375..comments2024-02-15T15:08:12.550-08:00Comments on Irrelevance: CodyThe Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-44053267947791062682012-03-26T18:40:05.690-07:002012-03-26T18:40:05.690-07:00What a neat thing you are doing. Cody is super lu...What a neat thing you are doing. Cody is super lucky to have you in his life. I totally get where you are coming from. Really. You just question these things as a parent and personally, it is frustrating. But, then you learn that you have to sit back just a bit and follow instincts that might be hidden. Each kid is different, some are born with more drive than others. That is what makes triathletes triathletes, Olympic athletes Olympians, school teachers school teachers. I also get where sometimes resources, environments may hamper the push. Providing some insight or encouragement might be all that he needs from you right now. Enjoy time with him; he may not show it outwardly, but what you are doing is really important. Being a parent, an authority figure, a loving friend is tough and so is being a kid. That is why we are continuously learning from one another.ksnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-3541138195705557312012-02-20T22:18:33.181-08:002012-02-20T22:18:33.181-08:00I have been continually amazed at how the kids are...I have been continually amazed at how the kids are their own people, even from a very early age. that doesn't mean I haven't already passed on several of my own worst habits, nor does it mean we don't have a profound influence on them, but both science and my own personal experience supports the idea that innate temperament has the greatest impact.<br /><br />in other words, mom and dad couldn't possibly have made the mixed up wonderful brilliant foolish mess that is you. sure they influenced you, but you basically came this way. now it's up to you to figure out what to do with the second half of what you've been given ;). it's very nice that you're participating so closely with Cody. what a fun day that must have been!Leilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17840132732446672075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-22206196425315648092012-02-20T15:56:51.004-08:002012-02-20T15:56:51.004-08:00It's funny, I feel like what you wrote is _exa...It's funny, I feel like what you wrote is _exactly_ what I was trying to get across, exactly the things I am working on trying to understand and work on about myself as I pay more and more attention to my habits and actions. Questions like "why am I the way I am" flutter through my head constantly along with "why did I do that?" I wholeheartedly agree about inner motivation, pretty much everything true in life has to come from within, it cannot be forced or it is not true.<br /><br />I don't fully understand the Edison analogy but I'll re-read it tomorrow. Thanks for sharing.The Suffer Seekerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-70371613939274058002012-02-20T14:10:47.474-08:002012-02-20T14:10:47.474-08:00Oh my goodness...take a chill pill. Life is to lea...Oh my goodness...take a chill pill. Life is to learn and be happy and see how you may be able to help improve the lives of others, not stress so much about over-achievement and perfectionism...what are you trying to prove and to whom? <br /><br />Inner motivation is something you can not give to someone or make them do, so knock off all that expectation before you become a father or your child will perpetually feel like a failure. <br /><br />If continually trying to improve brings you happiness, then have at it. Edison failed thousands of times before he made a successful invention but if he beat himself up over it every time and thought about what a failure he was because he needed to take a nap, then by golly, we might not have a lightbulb or many other of his thousands of inventions.<br /><br />Yes, we aren't born knowing how to do everything and we learn through trial and error and a little drive is a good thing because you are passionate about something and proceeding down the path makes you happy. But being able to just "be" is important too. Let others be their own person, including your kids. They will not be "mini-you." But even if they don't take on what you think are your best traits, they will have their own joys and bests and appreciate them as they are, not as you wish they would be...<br /><br />If this is helpful, great, if not, please disregard. It's probably a little harsh but you don't have to manipulate those in your lives so much to bring them up to your expectations...acknowledge where they are in life and smile and be happy for them even if they have not yet reached their potential. Guide gently and don't take it personally if they choose another path...Just my humble opinion and again, please disregard if not helpful. You'll probably feel a lot better if you don't worry so much about it and just see things as they are.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10299022524941233753noreply@blogger.com