tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35550999852750437492024-03-05T04:46:43.601-08:00IrrelevanceThe Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.comBlogger198125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-40814960023053749032024-02-21T20:44:00.000-08:002024-02-21T20:44:59.930-08:00Ubiquiti<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSl9oS4q5ZUGQ_a6Q_5O3tV8M3OCv8LPxHc6A_PBzviSFjqYbqwQSDsDtQ5NPfLuFfXHEKxaxBHRYOqe7i7oVdbQxpV4WDGjx2gID_hQWYq7c7JdO4-XuimC8sWBGtjTCddD_dOxhi4Yw66jHxceVbs8Ibt-JRQ3jy4L7ervYzbMjXA0NdUyOBxQE2_BY-/s4032/IMG_2220.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSl9oS4q5ZUGQ_a6Q_5O3tV8M3OCv8LPxHc6A_PBzviSFjqYbqwQSDsDtQ5NPfLuFfXHEKxaxBHRYOqe7i7oVdbQxpV4WDGjx2gID_hQWYq7c7JdO4-XuimC8sWBGtjTCddD_dOxhi4Yw66jHxceVbs8Ibt-JRQ3jy4L7ervYzbMjXA0NdUyOBxQE2_BY-/s320/IMG_2220.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><p>The network rack has been in place for a while but today I moved things into their final resting positions. I still have a bunch of devices to add to the mix but it's a nice modular setup. I also need to do some loops and tidy up the excess wire which is all drooped and disorganized behind the rack. But it's a mostly clean setup for now, minus the one siezed post screw in the bottom right ear. If you're left wondering what that white plastic box is at the top right, it's an ethernet surge suppressor. Doesn't look all that cool but hopefully will keep my gear from getting fried.</p><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4wazt5M1d8y_UEuZmB3Zx4NnV5TAMig77E_P9bvvLB9Ajpi3s-OZfd6quK1vlM6dYB2rQNt9omKKilawmdulPhCbM5jPjxpeBx371CnuUnISU7mSepU-dCYxZP9hq893WrS5g1xIV13Lkne2E5XiXrHW-z2wL_irvbqPRo4yAKSOiDpWGLwVLvbzx2mIR/s4032/IMG_2219.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4wazt5M1d8y_UEuZmB3Zx4NnV5TAMig77E_P9bvvLB9Ajpi3s-OZfd6quK1vlM6dYB2rQNt9omKKilawmdulPhCbM5jPjxpeBx371CnuUnISU7mSepU-dCYxZP9hq893WrS5g1xIV13Lkne2E5XiXrHW-z2wL_irvbqPRo4yAKSOiDpWGLwVLvbzx2mIR/s320/IMG_2219.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>On the way to the shop I stopped by a place to try to grab a cheap old crappy paper file cabinet. Because I have the space for one here and I'd like to keep receipts and paperwork semi organized. Paper files definitely are annoying and digital stuff is better in terms of accessibility and the ability to search by keyword, but paper is a nice to have backup vs just shredding everything immediately. So I went to this furniture place and walked out with a steelcase standing desk on the cheap. It's a nice size, I'm pretty happy with it, as I wanted to get a nicer setup for my day job at the shop. Now all I need is a decent monitor and I've got nice setups at home and the shop for doing any tech stuff.<p></p>The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-43732669689671118152024-02-20T15:38:00.000-08:002024-02-20T15:38:57.467-08:00Door<p> Got a door in today. The main purpose is to keep heat inside my workshop as the room behind this door is not well sealed and heat escapes quickly. Although today is not a terribly cold day, 57 degrees right now, I can tell it's helping a lot due to the furnace not cycling nearly as much as it was in prior days and earlier today while the door was going in. It also has a nice side benefit of reducing noise to the house (which I'm renting) so my music has less impact on the tenant. When open, presumably during the summer, it's clear glass so the overhead lights should still provide illumination. I got a bit "lucky" finding the exact size door I wanted on craigslist for about half price, and even luckier that it was clear glass instead of frosted so I can see into the storeroom.</p><p>It's really nice to be warm and cozy in my work space now.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Tygo5_nVKv-a5xSyxMXn9nQcqpW3HQwGj_xl3rEbZI7i_vOPP5Pfq2PkaOdLFKKLK0XWe6tWKLXN2fUexgTT13sNzQC46bfqvUtgCXsVtZvznKUWdjL7Jm4CHf9bFuDXR9nQH2B2Pw5kSrNPFMThY9rHbczhUPxf6DSxUQz7AEre0lBTblymoO7O2IS3/s4032/IMG_2216.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Tygo5_nVKv-a5xSyxMXn9nQcqpW3HQwGj_xl3rEbZI7i_vOPP5Pfq2PkaOdLFKKLK0XWe6tWKLXN2fUexgTT13sNzQC46bfqvUtgCXsVtZvznKUWdjL7Jm4CHf9bFuDXR9nQH2B2Pw5kSrNPFMThY9rHbczhUPxf6DSxUQz7AEre0lBTblymoO7O2IS3/s320/IMG_2216.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-91130693374189678332024-02-16T13:35:00.000-08:002024-02-16T13:35:08.803-08:00Urinal<p> This is the shop bathroom. I'm a fan of having my very own bathroom and this one has heat, a vent fan, sink, toilet and even some cabinets and drawers (which I don't really need in the bathroom but it's nice to have a spot for some clothes and supplies for now).</p><p>I'm hoping to get a shower set up where the toilet is and move the toilet to the opposite corner. Which means some extended downtime and cutting concrete to get the new toilet flange in position, T into the sewer line, and convert the existing toilet flange to a shower drain.</p><p>I was already planning to add a sink to the other side of this wall which is part of the workshop for dishes and hand washing there, always nice to have two sinks. But I'm thinking I might do a smaller sink and add a urinal in the bathroom and just move the utility sink to the workshop as my dishes sink, along with the dishwasher. That way I can keep my dishes out of the bathroom which feels like a prudent thing. My workshop is a pretty clean space, whereas the prior owner used it for building stuff so it got much dirtier.</p><p>So, I find myself perusing urinals. At least they aren't expensive.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSL1X1mvXmU-_MfRpl5u1IgcZtuALeir9JMhZDNIjUNFF_4dzqzQMjkgydGk2N4gP4qTZxjhjuSsIrim6_PkvuT5ZKxj4NeOI5acIiTd5lh02d8Iui00cYjcdqU5RJANPG30gwspJBOYLGyhylgAdQjOAnJWCDFaiyLPISF32DqU3mO_L6rf6F2NbMCqJh/s4032/IMG_2204.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSL1X1mvXmU-_MfRpl5u1IgcZtuALeir9JMhZDNIjUNFF_4dzqzQMjkgydGk2N4gP4qTZxjhjuSsIrim6_PkvuT5ZKxj4NeOI5acIiTd5lh02d8Iui00cYjcdqU5RJANPG30gwspJBOYLGyhylgAdQjOAnJWCDFaiyLPISF32DqU3mO_L6rf6F2NbMCqJh/s320/IMG_2204.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-11265633350134190032024-02-15T14:54:00.000-08:002024-02-15T14:54:18.652-08:00Back to the matI went to a yoga class last night, first real class in what feels like 10 years? It felt good, crowded and sweaty, but nice to reconnect to this pile of flesh I'm stuck in.<div><br /></div><div>I raced CIM last year, 2:46, it was nice to finish strong after my troubles there in the past but also ironic that I'm more proud of my old guy time which is actually my slowest ever on the course:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7vO46WwLORRIezvLdlu1IMXvHN_U8LBwcC7Tog06YO4OpXKLs3kVKPbw36VLZUQip25CSmeQmBzH-KFWlGJnT9SosTYAYvjAdGlBXbmizgZH6lNx7D42judKZ5sNY3kTQs2vcIjeUPnAd0Y4Ief2UgDZ8qRgBqp4Zt1PUOVxaM9UXXQ1zREGqCDEwtxBC/s1049/Screen%20Shot%202024-02-15%20at%202.46.52%20PM.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: left;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="411" data-original-width="1049" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7vO46WwLORRIezvLdlu1IMXvHN_U8LBwcC7Tog06YO4OpXKLs3kVKPbw36VLZUQip25CSmeQmBzH-KFWlGJnT9SosTYAYvjAdGlBXbmizgZH6lNx7D42judKZ5sNY3kTQs2vcIjeUPnAd0Y4Ief2UgDZ8qRgBqp4Zt1PUOVxaM9UXXQ1zREGqCDEwtxBC/s320/Screen%20Shot%202024-02-15%20at%202.46.52%20PM.png" width="320" /></a><br /></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I got myself a workshop at the very end of last year and that's been fantastic, having space to stretch out and get organized.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The boys are 8 and 6, quite the handful, doing a few ski trips this winter, riding bikes, settling in after the move.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Oh yeah, we moved to the PNW, outside of Portland. It rains here. It rains a lot.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Also, everyone in this town is fast and everyone runs. Random guy from a neighbor dinner party ran a 2:30 in his first 'thon. A friend jokes that his dentist says "I don't really run" but pulled off a 2:18. And there's no racial diversity. And it rains. Everything is wet all winter.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But it's green and the trees are glorious, wonderful, amazing. Kayaking in the river is nice. Real estate is less unaffordable and traffic is slightly less brutal. And I haven't had a sunburn in ages.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Let's see if I can keep a short journal flowing.</div>The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-53906407221262466642013-08-19T19:40:00.002-07:002013-08-19T19:47:28.314-07:00Samskaras<div><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>The classroom is simply the arena in which we can witness our deeply ingrained habits in all their glory.</i></span><br />
</div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: arial;">I stumbled upon <a href="http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/1318">this article</a> and couldn't stop myself from realizing how appropriate these words are for me to read. Even down to the "Devil that you know" quote which is an old line from a co-worker. Samskaras are very real, and nowhere are they as obvious and on display than on the mat.</span><br />
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We all have patterns and we all repeat ourselves. It takes an extended period of interaction to identify these samskaras and I believe this is one reason why relationships get harder post-honeymoon, when partners begin to really see each others samskaras. Whether the cause stems from a previous life is beyond my ability to equivocate, but the reality of our samskaras really does affect our daily lives within this physical existence and as such seems very worthy of attention.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: arial;">Since this blog is all about me anyway, I'll go ahead and make this personal. Below is a list of some of my most annoying samskaras:</span><br />
</div><ul><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Self depracation (for sport or sometimes just because it feels good)</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Punctuality (despite knowing this is my issue, it surfaces almost every day for me)</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Written and verbal discipline. (Talk less, say more)</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Inability to say no (fear of missing out)</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Priorities (I think this is one area I've made progress with)</span></span></li>
</ul><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I love the mental imagery of samskaras as dirt on the mirror of the soul. Perhaps it's the type-A in me who instantly wants to wipe any dirty mirror clear and clean. I realized today that I've probably regressed in many of these key areas as my practice has slipped due to teaching, work, and a relationship taking up some of the space which was previously available. I suppose that is yet another one reason why I love to practice. The mat calms me down. The mat helps me locate my center. And the mat helps me identify my areas of growth, the parts of my soul which have opportunity for growth.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The beautiful thing about taking the seat of a teacher is that I've seen this in my students. Now that I have enough experience to identify certain patterns, particularly among repeat students, I am privileged to see all of the subtleties of their practice which they may not even notice. From camping out in the exact same spot of the room to how each pose is expressed, personalities are on display and samskaras are on the surface of those mirrors. Watching all of that, knowing that I am not alone in my quest to transform, help me to dedicate myself to this intention.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />
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</span></span></div>The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-80166532256955894562013-08-13T21:07:00.003-07:002013-08-13T21:07:53.724-07:00ReturnHave you ever wondered why the big key on the right side of your keyboard sometimes says "enter" and sometimes says "return"? This falls into the grey area of computer history, at one point in time certain operating systems had different purposes for these two keys. Carriage return (aka return aka down and to the left) was a descendant of that same function on the typewriter which sends the cursor down one line and to the leftmost margin. At it's heart, return is a character formatting key. Enter, on the other hand, often appears on the number pad and is typically used to tell the little man inside the computer that you're done with your part and it's his turn to do something. For example, I might type a bunch of numbers separated by + characters and when I press enter I'd expect to know how much they add up to.<br />
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For obvious reasons, the lines between these two keys became blurred as certain operating systems cared while others did not. Just as some filesystems are case sensitive (flavors of Unix in particular) and others are not (VMS and Windows as examples) the confusion creates a drift towards the midline, and basic rules are formed to ensure those with rudimentary knowledge don't get too lost.<br />
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In my personal life, at this point in time, both keys seem to be quite fitting. I've begun to run again, despite having next to no fitness to leverage, and it feels good to bring myself back into the world of hurt. I don't want to jinx myself, I don't know how long this current effort will last, but I'd like for it to be sustainable. I'd like to call myself a runner again. It's a cool feeling to float across the ground. Especially when you weight 180 lbs.<br />
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At the same time, I'm entering new territory. Both of my roommates have moved out and I live with Miss Sonja and her dog Jack in a house that becomes increasingly ours. It's become quite peaceful despite the endless stream of home improvement projects we've dug into together. As I enter a bit more of a family minded lifestyle, I can't help but laugh about how different it all seems than 4 years ago, and yet how similar all at the same time.<br />
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I got one of those horrible and yet oddly beautiful emails this morning, from a good friend who recently got married and is now separating. It's a trip when you are friends with both and there is no real blame, just two people who spent 7 years together and now are drifting apart. The only true constant is change.<br />
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In the meantime, other friends have gotten engaged, some are recently pregnant, and my neighbors are moving away. All sorts of change surrounds me.<br />
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In the midst of it all, I continue to attempt to strike a balance. A balance between running and yoga, one which tightens and constricts and challenges unlike any other endeavor I know of, and the other which loosens and restores and rejuvenates, nurturing space which I've only recently become quite fond of.<br />
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Sometimes I miss my opportunities to attempt to pause and make sense of it all, life just seems to be moving far too fast. I envy those who have created space to meditate and take life on their terms. But I know how easy it is to assume everyone else has their s together when the reality of life is that we may drive at times but nobody is truly in total control. I've never stopped making mistakes, so I'll never run out of learning opportunities.<br />
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For now, I think the most dramatic signal in my life is how unique each of my friendships is. Every person in my life seems so different than anyone else. Where I used to get frustrated when someone adhered to something other than a social norm, I now look at that with wonder and amazement as it it were a fruit I have never tasted.<br />
<br />The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-47078818685653522342013-05-20T19:09:00.000-07:002013-05-20T19:09:02.477-07:00Substitute<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JZC0o3-kv_0?rel=0" width="420"></iframe><br />
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My friend, mentor, and master of purpose, Mike, told me soon after I started teaching (and I'm paraphrasing) "Congrats! Now, can you sub for me on ..." It was meant in jest, but it was an accurate representation of the environment a new yoga teacher is suddenly immersed in once he or she begins to teach.<br />
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Illness, injury, vacation, and fatigue, friends from out of town, or multi-person swaps all become reasons why schedules are shuffled. Those of us who are green and new to the experience are all too apt to pick up extra classes. Those who have been teaching for a long time seem to be less apt to fall on their swords, perhaps having already done so on many occasions only to reach burnout and exhaustion themselves.<br />
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There is a tangible excitement to being a part of something which is growing, even when that growth seems at times out of control.<br />
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In the midst of it all, however, true colors are seen. Some of the experienced, some of the leaders, step forward to help others and take charge. The intricacies of how words are expressed, of how people help each other, becomes a microcosm of life, of society, of interaction.<br />
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It all continues to enlighten me. The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-23240151816540476162013-05-07T06:51:00.000-07:002013-05-07T06:51:00.621-07:00MomI had a dream last night. During this dream, I spoke with my mother.<br />
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The discussion centered on weight, how she did not want me to see her thinned down from chemo, how she would have preferred that I saw her healthy and fleshy as I had in the past.<br />
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There was also some strange contraption set up to catch rainwater and add lemon juice. In an attempt to feel a closer connection, I grabbed the container and attempted to pour the contents into my mouth. I somehow missed and soaked my chest without tasting even a drop. My mother appeared and demonstrated how to drink for me, as if I never knew how. It seemed so obvious once she showed me how. I wondered why I found it difficult in the first place.<br />
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Perhaps this yoga fascination, both as teacher and student, has a tie to my lost mother, the mother I haven't been able to speak to for almost 20 years now. Perhaps the learning and sharing and the exploration of new without leaving the room is exactly what that mother to child connection meant to me back when it was accessible to me.<br />
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I'm not terribly sure, as with all dreams, they tend to ask more questions than they answer.<br />
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Happy Mother's Day to everyone: moms, dads, sons, daughters.<br />
<br />The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-78664427243011203762013-03-13T20:55:00.001-07:002013-03-13T20:55:36.878-07:00C1I teach my first official yoga class tomorrow night. Official meaning this is the first time my name has appeared on the schedule. I have to say it seems rather strange to me to read my own name when I look at the schedule which is roughly 10x a day :)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifyHBpg0aVEsyFBbEcg1_tUQcYgAmFtpi7qujAc4WO4DsHTMXHQXLhc6lNUcGN-in1rBXPxyjZ6lFSB9Xoo_cQlkkI3dwHncSg8EBu8beVWD6gj5IADnoorLvcUJ4CUNwXyDiKm-swEh5v/s1600/c1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="136" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifyHBpg0aVEsyFBbEcg1_tUQcYgAmFtpi7qujAc4WO4DsHTMXHQXLhc6lNUcGN-in1rBXPxyjZ6lFSB9Xoo_cQlkkI3dwHncSg8EBu8beVWD6gj5IADnoorLvcUJ4CUNwXyDiKm-swEh5v/s320/c1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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I am actually subbing as noted above. I will be teaching the Tuesday and Friday 7:30 class on a weekly basis and once my training is over I'll be back to the Sunday free class which is something near and dear to my heart. There is something special about free yoga for me, and as someone who is still fairly new to this experience, it feels safe to be a part of a free class. I also really like having the bar set nice and low.<br />
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Here is the playlist I am planning to use.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjonty8-N278VX85KSXM5OrCzkB3JhOqN3C28qF-JB_JJqeXAqxAQ5cPAWHYUmFdooygmH4kFgU-HOAzhnTuX5A8MLB1q8wPBO-FHZpOLtn9zRMfg_2NUuOLfa-j90XGhpPxIeJepKG28N7/s1600/playlist.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjonty8-N278VX85KSXM5OrCzkB3JhOqN3C28qF-JB_JJqeXAqxAQ5cPAWHYUmFdooygmH4kFgU-HOAzhnTuX5A8MLB1q8wPBO-FHZpOLtn9zRMfg_2NUuOLfa-j90XGhpPxIeJepKG28N7/s320/playlist.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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I was originally all fired up for my first class on Friday, as a bridge to the weekend, a transition out of the misery of office work hell, but now I'm going to have to be there one day early.<br />
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I don't have a theme totally dialed in yet but a lot of thoughts are running through my head. My broken back from yesterday morning, the loss of my four footed friend, and the beginning of a new chapter of my life all seem to be taking center stage.<br />
<br />
I've told a few friends this, but I'm sure it's a fairly universal experience. When I rehearse in my head, I am this awesome instructor who says all the right words at all the right times. But when I teach an actual class, I trip, I stumble, and I just plain forget all of the cool ideas I had stored up. I wonder if the game will slow down, if I'll be able to really start pulling in those nuggets as planned. It feels like I'm heading in that direction, but I'm still so very far away.<br />
<br />
I'm about to attempt to write a bio. This is one of the hardest types of writing I do. I am phenomenally bad at writing about myself in a manner fit for general public consumption. But that's sort of the whole point of yoga in the first place for me. Doing something I am bad at because it is healthy to challenge myself. It is healthy to be bad. It is healthy to fail and flop and fall. So here I go.<br />
<br />
Look, ma, no hands!The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-19906521390897062322013-02-27T08:04:00.001-08:002013-02-27T08:21:35.981-08:00My best friend<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs7k8KXYpo0Tt6Xgo01DiYYhqOrz6eRpPaRbddiqefniX4dVyh5oxqEIasqZdKM-SXi9kTvQU2ddIrQZQRqt78XOZZRmKRaRZnWwlTf2lHDarF2Y3hCTQSogOHLcO3PJ37QTBkJ_mHn8Vv/s1600/hunter-nap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs7k8KXYpo0Tt6Xgo01DiYYhqOrz6eRpPaRbddiqefniX4dVyh5oxqEIasqZdKM-SXi9kTvQU2ddIrQZQRqt78XOZZRmKRaRZnWwlTf2lHDarF2Y3hCTQSogOHLcO3PJ37QTBkJ_mHn8Vv/s320/hunter-nap.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUlV_WTVuFrl0pMB45HafovccTyxY6Q49-qYWNFte3vry-2xsePo6NiihgaNci_aZ5TnaV-uhq8GuDasfJDRAC07l752zsvHlL0VDLr9QCSHC4baHusryKTUmwpOzBnqAyCBVZqShS6ECs/s1600/hunter_bark.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUlV_WTVuFrl0pMB45HafovccTyxY6Q49-qYWNFte3vry-2xsePo6NiihgaNci_aZ5TnaV-uhq8GuDasfJDRAC07l752zsvHlL0VDLr9QCSHC4baHusryKTUmwpOzBnqAyCBVZqShS6ECs/s320/hunter_bark.jpg" width="214" /></a>I don't really know much about dogs. I've actually only ever been owned by one of them. Most dog people have at least 2 at any given point in time and typically many more by the time they reach 40, but for whatever reason my number is 1. His name is Hunter. I did not get to name him, or perhaps more truthfully I put no effort into changing his name when I adopted him. I figured why fix what isn't broken even though many experienced dog owners recommend a name change to reinforce bonding and obedience. I suppose I wasn't looking for much obedience and when it comes to Labradors, bonding with people seems baked into each and every one.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu_sO8eOzFvGWutavz9xV-6Exsd7RPONGfvrd4ECvrF24YcQB34m0SUade_Q1zdqluh7e-OBlg6llhlbLziqk348uTH5BbdlfE6BxFHBa8y475WD-9LMF4ZFXLrh-rPB-yiCvjMcYClDMa/s1600/hunter_swim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu_sO8eOzFvGWutavz9xV-6Exsd7RPONGfvrd4ECvrF24YcQB34m0SUade_Q1zdqluh7e-OBlg6llhlbLziqk348uTH5BbdlfE6BxFHBa8y475WD-9LMF4ZFXLrh-rPB-yiCvjMcYClDMa/s320/hunter_swim.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
Hunter was kind enough to take some time out of his busy schedule to write a few guest posts for me last year.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://daveeasa.blogspot.com/2012/03/hunter-early-years.html">Part 1</a><br />
<a href="http://daveeasa.blogspot.com/2012/03/hunters-adolescence.html">Part 2</a><br />
<a href="http://daveeasa.blogspot.com/2012/03/hunter-melba-experience.html">Part 3</a><br />
<br />
Yesterday I got called home from work early for what I feared might be my last visit to the vet. As it turns out, Hunter spent last night with us. He is resting semi-peacefully at the moment, not more than one mile from the place I got him roughly 12 years ago. But he has stopped eating and drinking, he hasn't gone to the bathroom, and he can't really walk more than a couple of wobbly steps. This is the end, that much is clear.<br />
<br />
Having gone through these emotions so many times, I expected a certain degree of pragmatism from myself yesterday and today. Instead, I am merely weathering a storm of grief, as powerful waves of sobbing consume me, punctuated by long periods of wishing he would drink a little bit, worrying about his pain level, wondering, and waiting. I watched a tear build up in his eye last night, I did not realize that dogs could cry, and it made me so terribly sad to not know the specific reason for that tear. Is he scared of dying? Does he contemplate his own death? Is he worried about me? Or was he simply crying for what he once was, perhaps what he wishes he still were?<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWV7vD7pkDC2KNpOIiBKMcAzEGTsqdt-fb-PE9ICGyAKZ8AYVlKcQ66B6VA1dWascaKI8kTmThbj3I3lh5e92RchKAKy-5gLEeFMVB9AS8XuAud6ESb78vtqZLlOb09ezAyYtpkXB9ucAw/s1600/Hunter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWV7vD7pkDC2KNpOIiBKMcAzEGTsqdt-fb-PE9ICGyAKZ8AYVlKcQ66B6VA1dWascaKI8kTmThbj3I3lh5e92RchKAKy-5gLEeFMVB9AS8XuAud6ESb78vtqZLlOb09ezAyYtpkXB9ucAw/s320/Hunter.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2/27/2013</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I took off his collar last night for what I assume will be the last time. He cannot wander on his own anymore and I don't think I can leave his side until this is over. I had hopes we might reach his 14th birthday together, that we might have a party and invite all of his friends over to see him. That got pushed up to last night and now that everyone has had a chance to say goodbye, it seems like the right time to do so myself.<br />
<br />
I knew this day was coming. I've rehearsed it in my head countless times. And yet, I still sob, I am still overwhelmed with grief at the loss of my first and only true pet, best friend, loyal partner.<br />
<br />
Goodbye Hunter.<br />
<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-48483181046252827642013-01-25T07:31:00.000-08:002013-01-25T07:41:27.105-08:00A new way to HURT<div class="p17">
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxlED-olXY_h63uPnlEKlYQTW-q55I4ApWQXrziyDfNANqNzsAxNMLmyjLRz1VtzxByUBKjiGoXPa3V0_8GuPmG66z0CjT_FMbmHCnX-9N2MqMStKkvwfQdjgNIx-rPL9s_wns44uJHAjK/s1600/HURTFinish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxlED-olXY_h63uPnlEKlYQTW-q55I4ApWQXrziyDfNANqNzsAxNMLmyjLRz1VtzxByUBKjiGoXPa3V0_8GuPmG66z0CjT_FMbmHCnX-9N2MqMStKkvwfQdjgNIx-rPL9s_wns44uJHAjK/s320/HURTFinish.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption">Me, Brian, Miss Sonja.</td></tr>
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Instead of a boring weekend recap, I decided to ask Miss Sonja a few questions about her first exposure to ultra racing at the 2013 HURT 100. The following is a view of HURT through her eyes.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b></b>
<b>1. You recently paced Brian Recore at HURT, covering just shy of 26 miles on trail both overnight and the next day. This was your first ultra experience. What did you know going into the race. Describe your expectations and your preconceptions. </b><br />
<br />
This was my first experience with an ultramarathon, and actually my first race experience. For those who don’t know, the HURT 100 course is 5 twenty mile laps of the same trail. Each lap is divided into 3 sections. Each section connects the 3 aid stations, which are in valleys. So each section starts with a climb out of the valley up to a ridge and a descent into a the valley and aid station.<br />
<br />
I really didn’t know anything about this kind of event except what I picked up when we were crewing Brian for the first 50 miles of the race. Since I’d been sick and never run more than 10-12 miles, I thought I’d do one section at night and another in the morning to give Dave a break, depending on how I felt.<br />
<br />
I really liked the casual small-event atmosphere. People were usually friendly and it felt low key. Once I got over feeling like I was not nearly bad ass enough to hang with these people, I had a great time. I showed up to switch with Dave and pace Brian at 11:30pm, which was about an hour before they showed up. So I schmoozed with the other crazy ultra runners who weren’t running and were volunteering or pacing, and cheered the runners coming out of the jungle in the middle of the night.<br />
<br />
Every runner seemed to be handling it differently. Some were laughing, some were exhausted, some had their game face on, some were just going with the flow. A few just stared mechanically, downed some food and water and took off again. I set off with Brian up the trail after midnight, hoping that I wouldn’t totally blow it.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSuNNYOY_di0HJVJDoggxRcIa7EAgKXSaMv2MOWgYgBY3b6-xeuwLm_NlU0dxhFENSivSnENpGcD-AY_V9cISqIiGxbwtwkZn1GRQKXhvMg0u_-OPxU2dtsQ3Lk70HIenbkjGx905DAWvB/s1600/HURT2013Finish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSuNNYOY_di0HJVJDoggxRcIa7EAgKXSaMv2MOWgYgBY3b6-xeuwLm_NlU0dxhFENSivSnENpGcD-AY_V9cISqIiGxbwtwkZn1GRQKXhvMg0u_-OPxU2dtsQ3Lk70HIenbkjGx905DAWvB/s320/HURT2013Finish.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brian at the finish</td></tr>
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Brian was great. He pointed out the rough parts of the trail, where the rocks were slippery, or there was mud or roots. He was probably laughing at me because I couldn’t get over how cool it was to be going up this mountain through the forest. Blue and orange glow sticks hanging from tree branches marked switchbacks, low lying branches, or tricky parts of the path. The forks in the trail were marked with a bunch of tiny blinking lights in the trees. I felt like I was in Avatar, or some weird alien place. Every once in a while we’d cross paths with another runner or two, you could see the light from their headlamp bobbing in the distance. I learned to be nice to people and shield my headlamp, but I probably blinded a few people in the beginning when I was just staring around at everything like an idiot.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Ah7Pal3fSDt6XUAyCSgts4VO36d_iXkdc4nqAKxKf-ICaR72VUzBMkh_5PVbSs1pf4Eo5_ssEWaRSb58mPoYJ_vDGm_dlT_Cs6wukBDW8P2TaFWHvSenwAbot6YfBxq9czUNNRyXm8VL/s1600/Flats.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Ah7Pal3fSDt6XUAyCSgts4VO36d_iXkdc4nqAKxKf-ICaR72VUzBMkh_5PVbSs1pf4Eo5_ssEWaRSb58mPoYJ_vDGm_dlT_Cs6wukBDW8P2TaFWHvSenwAbot6YfBxq9czUNNRyXm8VL/s320/Flats.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pauoa Flats</td></tr>
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We got to this place where the trail is laced by a network of roots, you can see a bunch of HURT 1000 pics from that part of the trail. You had to step carefully through the roots and trying to avoid the mud, and make sure you picked up your feet to avoid tripping, all in the pitch black and us just with our headlamps, me following Brian. The bamboo forests were something else too, spooky. Brian said it’s really nice to have a pacer coming through those. It’s totally quiet except for the bamboo rising up dense and dry on either side of you, creaking, snapping and knocking in the wind. Then there’s the descent near Manoa falls, with lots of slippery rocks to worry about. And there were a couple times where you could easily just put one foot wrong and you’d fall off the side of the trail. That’s it for you. At least if you have a pacer there’s someone to know where you went missing. Coming into the Paradise Park aid station was pretty awesome, the trail there is wide and paved just at the end, and they had lined either side of the trail with lanterns in paper bags. It was nice to see lights after a few hours in the forest.<br />
<br />
<b>2. You had seen the trails only once before, how did race day compare to this training day? Were you adequately prepared for the terrain?</b><br />
<br />
I didn’t really feel prepared but we thought I might not have to run much since more people were probably going to help out. But they ended up not being able to help so it was just Dave and I pacing Brian. We ran part of the course back in December and I’d been doing more trail hill runs in San Diego. I learned that I’m a decent climber. And a fast walker so I could take breaks from jogging and just walk for a bit. I hadn’t run for 2 weeks since I just had the worst flu I’ve had in years, so aside from still being a bit sick, my legs were fresh. I think that helped.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVQg64Nn0Xi-uVUnT7P345iPQogQbLakjX01BtnvGWmQ7nu1zwGZppfTqySzp8Tk_YK3ge6kXSt4BQG8_vylryKDfno0nPDSONnptm-vMdz9Kcwk8BUP7d2qp1J9wtT2h6hql9tm2GuoM9/s1600/Easas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVQg64Nn0Xi-uVUnT7P345iPQogQbLakjX01BtnvGWmQ7nu1zwGZppfTqySzp8Tk_YK3ge6kXSt4BQG8_vylryKDfno0nPDSONnptm-vMdz9Kcwk8BUP7d2qp1J9wtT2h6hql9tm2GuoM9/s320/Easas.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Easa's feasting pre-race</td></tr>
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<b><br /></b>
<b>3. Were there any big surprises? Anything unusual or unexpected?</b><br />
<br />
<br />
The biggest surprise was how much I enjoyed it. Getting up at 11pm to go run through the jungle doesn’t seem like an awesome idea, but it wasn’t that bad. Getting up again at 11am the next day after 5h on the chilly trail the night before, only a couple hours sleep, a hacking cough and headache started to seem a little dumb, but once I arrived at the aid station, I was ready to get back out there. Plus, Brian had already run 85 miles, how the hell could I complain?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiSLaVOmydGcX8xsRKenyFAheV4J9A55wdVL5xuvRT3r07kUVAR3-Ryc33t3CBIQaJDwEAFnVDhFuRM7DBxn696uie4hL0ZhvD1MeltlSOX4LE97AVcSyTUJhwqcNy3wMCrKTSf9OEQFz4/s1600/PostRace.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiSLaVOmydGcX8xsRKenyFAheV4J9A55wdVL5xuvRT3r07kUVAR3-Ryc33t3CBIQaJDwEAFnVDhFuRM7DBxn696uie4hL0ZhvD1MeltlSOX4LE97AVcSyTUJhwqcNy3wMCrKTSf9OEQFz4/s320/PostRace.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Post race dinner with Ray Sanchez</td></tr>
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<b><br /></b>
<b>4. What was your favorite aid station and why? </b><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZfAxUO__-JKaE_yXG-9TPdjvNuTJGm4ZJ41BvSZvDVLoNI70bke5g3bJmCy2gky2TuFY3o7kKNAslLrEQW9JbxtvAuj928eseb2WB7jAzFF_Km8qAgithRNoCmxQW1TLXG4-VYexXISHJ/s1600/Buckle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZfAxUO__-JKaE_yXG-9TPdjvNuTJGm4ZJ41BvSZvDVLoNI70bke5g3bJmCy2gky2TuFY3o7kKNAslLrEQW9JbxtvAuj928eseb2WB7jAzFF_Km8qAgithRNoCmxQW1TLXG4-VYexXISHJ/s320/Buckle.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This buckle is a reward for 34 hours of movement.</td></tr>
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They were all different. I really liked the Paradise Park aid station. They had a cute pirate theme, there were colored Christmas lights up and the lanterns lining the trail. The volunteers there were also really on top of it, getting stuff for the runners and making sure everyone was taken care of. I was pretty impressed. The Nature Center aid station was neat too, they had a lot of glow sticks and the lights on the bridge were hooked up to a motion detector so when a runner came down the trail they got brighter. Nu’uanu aid station was the smallest, but it was kind of fun because you had to cross the creek by jumping over the rocks—a little crazy at night—and for some reason they had a skeleton floating in the creek on a little inner tube. Whatever, I love it.<br />
<br />
<b>5. What did you notice about the other competitors? Did anyone stand out to you? </b><br />
<br />
The other runners were all supportive of each other. Instead of saying hi, everyone we passed said things like “You got it” or “you’re doing great” which seems nice and encouraging but starts to feel like when people say “how are you doing” without really expecting an answer, kind of fake. But who cares? Better to be positive and encouraging. So I started saying my own little rah-rah stuff to the runners. Especially in the middle of the night. Cause yeah, you are doing pretty damn amazing, you’re still running through the jungle in the middle of the night. That’s freaking awesome. And by the next day, people were almost done with their 100 miles, so everyone really was totally rocking it.<br />
<br />
<b>6. How has your perception of distance changed as a result of this event. Do you feel any different about the numbers 26, 50 or 100 now? </b><br />
<br />
It’s hard to tell since this event is so unlike the shorter distance events or a road event. The trail is very steep at times and there’s a lot of it that’s almost un-runnable, unless you’re a freak, which I’ve heard there are guys that run it. It’s also muddy, rocky, and slippery. Parts of the trail are latticed with tree roots or rocks and you really have to pick up your feet and pay attention. There’s no opportunity to go on autopilot. It’s gotta be tough for the people who are out there all day and night.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyLp0G620t8NNTpO0iqHK8odGOrh0lQ2-XjrGz3Uc4aVUdGMQx-H3j8BOQTXFZ08yFIb5ztKFlmVXywSU8o2vtk3Ni3veRu6zvZUfpk7ozb46nklSWtF0dzOcgpE-Vq1Ni2w4a8EpUpjzc/s1600/start.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyLp0G620t8NNTpO0iqHK8odGOrh0lQ2-XjrGz3Uc4aVUdGMQx-H3j8BOQTXFZ08yFIb5ztKFlmVXywSU8o2vtk3Ni3veRu6zvZUfpk7ozb46nklSWtF0dzOcgpE-Vq1Ni2w4a8EpUpjzc/s320/start.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pre-race, circa 5:45 am</td></tr>
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<b></b><br />
<b></b>
<b>7. What methods were effective while pacing Brian. Did you try anything which did not seem to help?</b><br />
<br />
Brian is an experienced ultra runner and also had done the HURT 100 course before so I just followed his lead. I mostly tried to stay positive, chat when he was talkative and quiet when he was in his own zone. There were times when he was hurting and tired, I just stayed behind him and kept moving. I think he just liked having someone else around. When he stepped up the pace we kinda got a little goofy and I shouted encouragement or just that it was amazing to be running around all day and night, how gorgeous it all was and that he was doing awesome. Cause he was.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjonkGIZrs2Iuxqsis-xR4p_JJ9fEuw13mMJzg5GtZ2z98yPXVQ0EwwoD8eknVVg0JYpVyO6m8SW9yxhXLVgvjKsjfpUsmZGuwSiZ01R_fxcD5ochvsehINR9qANX8KCFYUFloEx63UWa_1/s1600/Shaka.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjonkGIZrs2Iuxqsis-xR4p_JJ9fEuw13mMJzg5GtZ2z98yPXVQ0EwwoD8eknVVg0JYpVyO6m8SW9yxhXLVgvjKsjfpUsmZGuwSiZ01R_fxcD5ochvsehINR9qANX8KCFYUFloEx63UWa_1/s320/Shaka.jpg" width="234" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Manoa Aid Station</td></tr>
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<b>8. Did you pee on the trail and if so was this at all difficult being a girl? </b><br />
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We actually talked about how your pee can turn brown from running all day and dehydration. He stopped to pee a couple times and I just went on ahead and waited for him to catch up or in the middle of the night I shouted that I had to pee too. He asked me if I checked for brown pee and I said I was more worried about his ass and did he check his pee? But it was night so neither of us knew.<br />
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<b>9. What went through your head as you approached each aid station? </b><br />
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I’m hungry, or yay I get to take a shower. I’m so glad I don’t have to keep going like Brian. I was also worried that Brian was getting bored with me and whether he’d prefer Dave but Brian seemed happy either way. It was pretty awesome to pace the last two sections of the race. We were counting down the miles and guessing cause both of our GPS watches were out of batteries. Brian found some more steam and pounded out the last couple miles with me hooting and hollering behind him. It was pretty awesome to follow him to the finish, even though I barely did anything, just to share in that was fabulous.<br />
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<b>10. You had a number of conversations with Brian throughout the night and during the day. Were there any that were particularly amusing or entertaining that you'd care to share with the vast readership of Irrelevance?</b><br />
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[[Editor's note, apparently not]]<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzl8kzABWHTJqHzkq4826mDmJaX4BYVG8ZxYDX2lXLkGSUMiHMA-6y0bbKMkAKR6z3xtvngexUPDb2RDP-UDp9iFU9MHPq5SvpzCd-yp5dIkvCoSVbD1ToUDnv-CnUF1vYyjV8fOjC-O0s/s1600/NatureCenter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzl8kzABWHTJqHzkq4826mDmJaX4BYVG8ZxYDX2lXLkGSUMiHMA-6y0bbKMkAKR6z3xtvngexUPDb2RDP-UDp9iFU9MHPq5SvpzCd-yp5dIkvCoSVbD1ToUDnv-CnUF1vYyjV8fOjC-O0s/s320/NatureCenter.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<b>11. Do you feel any increased understanding of the mindset behind someone who competes in 100 mile races? Or does it seem just as looney as it might have before?</b><br />
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It’s totally nuts! But I guess I see more of why people do it. It’s the whole question of how far can I push myself? What are my real limits? I’ve found out I can go further than I thought I could go, so the next question is, how much further can I go? And how much faster? But I’m not one of those people who really likes to push myself to the extreme. And I like sleeping. So I don’t think ultras are for me. But I certainly enjoyed pacing this course. You get some of the fun with less of the mindnumbing hours and insane mileage. This course is also more in line with my idea of fun. It’s in Hawaii, so its absolutely beautiful, I remember pointing out some crazy flowers and trees. The views were gorgeous, and the technical trail keeps your mind busy. I’m not sure I’d like pacing a hot sweaty road marathon as much.<br />
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<b>12. What did you like best about pacing? </b><br />
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All the fun, none of the pain. Maybe just a little.<br />
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<b>13. Which shoes did you wear and how did they treat your feet?</b><br />
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Adidas Boston 3. They were great. They’re not trail shoes and they’re nice and light, but they have a stiff enough sole to protect from rocks. I had no problems with my feet. Even though I shattered my navicular bone a few years ago and was told I might never run again. I thought that might to bother me or the screws would start to make my foot ache but it wasn’t too bad.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmTHrYfYdy8mD0kCjDSSUAlhZ7jRz_lkEsn0AT1yx9tH25Gvusey_14JzGuqIMj48hb8X8vEn36xqVo-D1dtaKNqfSfIKQRvoeRirpy1fpnEqyTE9nKv0_U1nHk3y18vo3A3i9ApJ6mt-f/s1600/Nuuanu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmTHrYfYdy8mD0kCjDSSUAlhZ7jRz_lkEsn0AT1yx9tH25Gvusey_14JzGuqIMj48hb8X8vEn36xqVo-D1dtaKNqfSfIKQRvoeRirpy1fpnEqyTE9nKv0_U1nHk3y18vo3A3i9ApJ6mt-f/s320/Nuuanu.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nu'uanu Aid Station</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNAlR-5zp-_OVsZ1NrTm74DR1sZx0NE3mU_d5PaTmjnZdPL9qTdcilyavw3o7_JNZnFTMdxpf5gIKBIU2ay3Ey9U_U-ecMRdP8fNGnVFKIudR53XTpP3lIFnKzFEf-C0eawTIX0WsoeXoY/s1600/River.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNAlR-5zp-_OVsZ1NrTm74DR1sZx0NE3mU_d5PaTmjnZdPL9qTdcilyavw3o7_JNZnFTMdxpf5gIKBIU2ay3Ey9U_U-ecMRdP8fNGnVFKIudR53XTpP3lIFnKzFEf-C0eawTIX0WsoeXoY/s320/River.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jackass Ginger</td></tr>
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<b>14. Would you do anything different if you pace the same race again? </b><br />
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I would have been more prepared. I wasn’t expecting to race at all since I had been so sick and I wasn’t sure Brian and Dave would even need me to help out. So I didn’t bring warmer clothes for running at night (I would have brought a long sleeved shirt and a t shirt), it was a little breezy on the ridges at the top of the climbs, and being sick made me colder. But it was still Hawaii and cold here is not too bad.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzTZULgXkKJ3CKMBhaV-BtNc_8J0UA6zJuPTyK3jtm1QPAL6F3qN0uJx1V1nsENP2cFtMDzV7AgHKSXccd7jwldhzyxyB3D0aaKZvl_w3kyJ6qTxgUcvFM4EXd-7BrS-JG6eaFBVMUS7Xp/s1600/Tantalus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzTZULgXkKJ3CKMBhaV-BtNc_8J0UA6zJuPTyK3jtm1QPAL6F3qN0uJx1V1nsENP2cFtMDzV7AgHKSXccd7jwldhzyxyB3D0aaKZvl_w3kyJ6qTxgUcvFM4EXd-7BrS-JG6eaFBVMUS7Xp/s320/Tantalus.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The view from Tantalus</td></tr>
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I would have been generally more ready to race, I probably would have enjoyed having a pack to stash my cellphone and maybe a bit more water. This isn’t a good trail to carry water in hand since so much of the climbs and descents are technical, you need your hands, I just put the water bottle between my teeth, plus there were a couple times Brian almost went over the cliff in the dark. Running downhill you also need your arms for balance and a bottle is annoying. Having hands free would have been beneficial. But with aid stations every 5-7 miles and relatively cool weather, you don’t need to pack much.<br />
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<b>15. You ran a lot more than planned, why did you choose to continue for extra sections?</b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi33DkJmPV8d4Zdj9p9FAYqxZ9veAYe7mDlQx8H47u_o0BkW9ioPc0T8fc3Sc1038p-cCDAdpjg9cK-HxK7t2IbI11uTdrFtEqsKCVJq21fpD_nerAOME3qncJ05n7JzvJ8oIRkOIgm0TON/s1600/Banyan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi33DkJmPV8d4Zdj9p9FAYqxZ9veAYe7mDlQx8H47u_o0BkW9ioPc0T8fc3Sc1038p-cCDAdpjg9cK-HxK7t2IbI11uTdrFtEqsKCVJq21fpD_nerAOME3qncJ05n7JzvJ8oIRkOIgm0TON/s320/Banyan.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Banyan tree (aka banging tree)</td></tr>
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We thought we’d have more pacing help but I also felt like I could handle it, and I wanted to see what I could do. Pretty much I was enjoying the experience. When I woke up from 2 h sleep after my first sections, I was coughing up all sorts of fun stuff and I felt awful and I was all ready to tell Dave and Brian that I’d crew at the aid stations but as far as running was concerned, they boys were on their own. Then after I had coffee, I started to feel a little bit better. I thought, I’m in Hawaii, I might as well be out there enjoying it, so I decided to do a couple more sections and give Dave a break. Plus, Brian seemed like he didn’t need much other than a little company and I was pretty sure I could hang. Had we been running more, I would have had a harder time I think. But on those steep climbs and descents, I found I felt pretty good. Also, if Brian could do 100 miles, worrying about 5 or 12 seemed stupid in comparison.<br />
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<b>16. There are a number of spectacular views along the course, any that you remember specifically? </b><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Uv0CsoLXOb-zt6-Xl6nxSIsv0sp1J9XNuvPr3FITFLhxRNmJIasLvmCPQ0WZc4u94yvaUJkgDePzLanHzpSrkaZjjAtHiPUqJKq5X7E7_hrzxx3RYZmjABzAgEuJCfT15SLjpqnK9Myr/s1600/DiamondHead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Uv0CsoLXOb-zt6-Xl6nxSIsv0sp1J9XNuvPr3FITFLhxRNmJIasLvmCPQ0WZc4u94yvaUJkgDePzLanHzpSrkaZjjAtHiPUqJKq5X7E7_hrzxx3RYZmjABzAgEuJCfT15SLjpqnK9Myr/s320/DiamondHead.jpg" width="234" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Post race</td></tr>
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The night views were the coolest. There was one view on the second leg at night, I think it was 3 in the morning, and the moon was over the city of Honolulu. I’d been pacing Brian already for a few hours through the jungle and bamboo and whatever, and we come to the top of this ridge and have these amazing views of Honolulu or Pearl Harbor. How many people get to see that? It felt pretty special.<br />
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<b>17. You were sick going into this and sick after. Did you notice feeling sick during? Did you think about that? </b><br />
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There were some times when I felt pretty awful. I probably shouldn’t have run, but the only thing I was concerned about was keeping up with Brian and keeping him happy. This wasn’t about me. I felt bad that I was coughing a lot, and then right at the end I couldn’t stop sneezing, I think something just got to me. But at least that was only the last mile or 2.<br />
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<b>18. How do you explain your experience to friends or family members who don't run more than 10 miles at a time?</b><br />
<br />
This wasn’t really running. It was more hiking up and down some pretty crazy terrain and running where the trail was good. We did less running at night because the visibility wasn’t great. But there were some times when Brian totally turned it on during the downhill and I was pretty impressed that he could find that kind of speed after all that he’d already done. This course is really hard on your knees, hips and back. Brian predicts that I’ll get into this distance stuff, we’ll see.</div>
The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-70553448895892239482013-01-18T19:50:00.001-08:002013-01-18T19:50:23.059-08:00Rudy<br />
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<a href="http://twofiftynine.blogspot.com/">RR</a> introduced me to the concept of time retarded-ness (a lovely double entendre isn't it?), which is certainly one of my personal character traits. It has been far too long since I've had a chance to contribute to my blog, and the pressure created by my written constipation imparts a measurable increase in my craving to contribute. Life has simply not slowed down enough for me tow write. From an alternate perspective, I just have not made space to write, it hasn't been enough of a priority since I haven't managed to find time for all of the workouts I'd have liked to fit in and for whatever reason I place workouts on a higher rung than writing. I will say that there has been no absence of desire to write and that makes me feel good. Knowing that my interest has not waned helps confirm my original intention of starting this blog, the point was to force myself to reflect, and in so doing, to awaken my soul to parts of me which might otherwise have a tendency to lie dormant. There was never any timeline, never any expectations, just a commitment to avoid being so buried in life that I forgot to check in and ask myself "how is it going?" Today, that answer seems to be that while I may take a lot longer than everyone else, as I have with my yoga teaching intention, eventually I seem reach the same finish line, whether by persistence, stubbornness, ignorance, or basic survival.</div>
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As I sit, on a plane heading to Honolulu to crew and pace for <a href="http://www.brianrecore.com/">Brian Recore</a> at <a href="http://hurt100.com/">HURT</a>, I finally have a spare moment to send my internal monologue into written words. Spurred by recent conversation with Miss Sonja about friends who are trying to have kids, other friends who are pregnant and expecting, friends going through breakups, science and statistics and anecdotal stories surrounding the experience of pregnancy, the subject of marriage, and the magic of creating life, a myriad of thoughts run through my head. The more I contemplate, the more it seems that my perspective tends to boil down to what I as an individual tend to like and dislike, what I approve and disapprove, far more than what I can justify or explain. Call this gut reaction, or personal preference, it's a matter of taste instead of black and white, right and wrong. This is probably excruciatingly obvious to anyone else, but I guess from my side I've tried to make sense of it and understand in what ways I may have cloudy vision, in what ways I may be closed minded. I ask myself why I am not worried about a 31 year old friend who has not yet conceived but has been trying to do so and I have no real answer, no scientific study, just a gut feel that everything will work out well in the end. Compare that to another friend going through a breakup at roughly the same age, who will certainly bounce back stronger than ever and yet who I feel a certain empathy for, most likely because of my own personal experiences with a similar situation. I know I can never be pregnant and perhaps that is why I struggle to fully understand the fear of having all of the plumbing and yet still not being able to get the system to do the job it was designed to do. Perhaps my summers working labor and delivery and my rudimentary knowledge of population growth make me slightly more pragmatic about childbirth. I'm honestly not sure, and I'm just as amused by my perspective as Miss Sonja seems to be.</div>
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If I am to reflect a bit, I would say one of the bigger shifts in my attitude over the past 5 years is how I seem to have embraced non attachment, specifically with respect to deadlines. I was raised by a father, heavily influenced by his own father, who incessantly repeated "pay now or pay later". Shall I say he pounded this down my throat as a child? It wouldn't be a tremendous embellishment to do so. The guidance was to always take advantage of the plethora of opportunities I have been given, don't wait, don't be lazy, accomplish, achieve, hit the mark, pay the bill, set myself up for a better tomorrow. Watching Lance's interview last night I felt that a lot of what he had to say, whether calculated, heartfelt, or likely somewhere in between, had to do with his own tendencies to do the same. Lance seemed to have recently understood exactly how dangerous across-the-board application of ruthlessness can be, and how valuable a few critical judgement calls might have been. Think for a moment how absurd it might be to theme a yoga class around "pay now or pay later" and you have some idea of just one of the very valid exceptions to this rule.</div>
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I submitted my audition application this week, the beginning of the "tryout" process for CorePower. I know more than I probably should about how it works, having discussed it with various friends, most of whom have made it through, some of whom have not. I am amused at how I feel about this. Part of me is nervous, not so much about speaking in front of people I have not met yet, nor of being judged, but simple nervousness about the perhaps 1 in 100 possibility that I don't give the best that I have to give on that day. This is the healthy dose of nervousness, the kind which precedes a race of importance, and it serves as a barometer that I am moving in a direction which suits me, it serves as reinforcement that I care and it is almost always a good thing to care. In addition to this nervousness, I also feel a fairly healthy dose of non attachment to the outcome, and this is an emotion that is relatively new to me. If I make it through, I will be thrilled. If it is not yet my time to teach, I don' think I will be disappointed. I have decided to audition, I have decided to offer myself, in my current capacity, to guide others through their 60 minute moving meditation and if I am not yet deemed ready, that is completely fine with me. It has taken me a year longer to reach this point than most of my peers and yet I feel no shame. I firmly believe my practice continues to evolve as does my teaching and for that I am truly grateful. Interestingly, the primary motivator to audition is that the one class I have been most involved in, the free karma class on Sunday afternoons, is reserved for the next round of teacher trainers going through their second round of training. In essence, I have overstayed my welcome in the minor league and it is time to check in and see if I am ready for some big boy yoga pants. The karma class was conceived as a bridge to the audition and eventually a permanent place on the schedule, not as the semi-permanent home which is how I treated it.</div>
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I am actually a little surprised at how much I have enjoyed being a part of the Sunday afternoon karma classes. Perhaps it is the timeslot, or maybe the low expectations I carry into a free class? There is an element of satisfaction in seeing some of the same faces on a weekly basis, of watching smiles head out the door and feeling that I have somehow contributed in a positive way. Despite only having one sibling, I exhibit the pleaser mentality of a middle child in that my greatest happiness tends to come from contributing to the happiness of others around me. In that capacity yoga serves me quite well, both as student and as teacher.</div>
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Another surprise I've unearthed is that I'm not getting bored, my practice feels just as dynamic as my running and on any given day I'd really prefer to make time for both. There is a certain satisfaction waiting for me within the small details of my practice. The daily work towards alignment fascinates me even if the progress seems infinitesimal. I haven't gotten bored of teaching either, with every passing week I embrace the opportunity to throw a playlist together, pick out a theme, and attempt to create harmony in honor of those who have done so for me and as a celebration of our collective ability to breathe life into the otherwise empty space of the studio. Part of the reason I took my sweet time getting my final done, turning in my hours, and submitting my application was to make sure that I did not burn out, to make sure that this was something I still wanted to do, and it seems to me that it is, it seems to me that I do.</div>
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Will I ever be good? I doubt it. I am not very good at most things I do and yoga has not slipped into any semblance of proficiency while I wasn't looking. I'm not really shooting for good, I don't think that is going to by my schtick. I see myself more as a "Rudy" type, someone who will inspire others despite my own shortcomings and very visible mistakes. I probably won't ever be the guy who remembers to tell a new student that it's OK to drop a knee in side plank, just as Rudy doesn't get to spike the ball in the end zone (sorry for the spoiler.) I come to my mat to celebrate my own intensity and enthusiasm and to share that with others in every way that I can. I come to class to bring "it" in all forms and to then to give away all of "that" to everyone else.</div>
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In that light, do I think I have a place teaching a little bit of yoga once or twice a week? Yes, yes I do. I think this precisely because I know that when I give all of myself, others tend to take notice and want to join in the fun.</div>
The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-57974243710398831832013-01-03T04:03:00.002-08:002013-01-03T04:03:36.700-08:00Wide AwakeHas my music taste changed so much that I actually listen to mainstream pop now?<br />
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I suppose that is possible. Or perhaps, in search of a cure for my own acute insomnia, reading the most random comments imaginable interlaced with spam and profanity may be the key to dulling my senses.<br />
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In the meantime, the period between sleeping and awake, I contemplate the año nuevo. Not the <a href="http://www.parks.ca.gov/?page_id=523">state park</a>, but the first day of 2013, although I'd really like to work another SF-SD bike trip in this year which would include a flyby of the aforementioned state park.<br />
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What do I remember most from New Year's? How could I forget when every muscle in my body still aches, even my intercostals and trapezius. Rolling over in bed incites a vivid remind of just how human I actually am, the net result of 300 minutes of moving meditation.<br />
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I remember what it was like a quarter century ago when my father and I would spend all day at the club playing tennis. We would come home wasted, cooked, and completely incapable of movement. My mother would laugh while we sat on the wood floor in the hall. Invariably my father would be asleep on the floor by 8pm, perhaps with a koozie of Olympia nearby. It would be difficult for me to cleave apart nature and nurture with both influences seeming to align towards making me the fool that I have become. However I do draw upon my past, specifically my college years when I did little to no exercise, and when I noticed how much I truly disliked being unhealthy. I certainly feel that the desire to access physical transformation is buried within my DNA as well as baked into my brain from early childhood.<br />
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January first started off gently. My tentative plan was to run in the ranch with Luc, catch a 10:30 class with Fukumura, and finish the day off with 108 Sun Salutations at my home studio. It seemed fine until I realized that New Year's eve called for a 5:30 wakeup to help out the retail manager who is tasked with a quarterly inventory count, coupled with a commitment to a New Year's eve party in Normal Heights which meant a 30 minute drive home. I decided at 7am that the run would have to wait, and took a more leisurely approach to the first morning of the year.<br />
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Shelley met up with Sonja and I for the Fuku class and we giddily laid out our mats and waited in anticipation of the magic. To watch this man move is to experience a sense of dance coupled with weightlessness and elasticity. As if it were made of clay, his body can twist in ways that I have never seen and yet he can do so effortlessly, as a reminder of the truly amazing capability of the human body. The best part of a Fuku class is working through something basic, something you've done hundreds of times in the past, but doing so with a fresh and focused perspective. Take the jump switch for example, the transition between low lunge with R foot forward to low lunge with L foot forward. The novice approach this as a physical challenge, perhaps a half mountain climber, an obstruction to be pushed aside, and sends one leg violently backwards while driving the other deep into the front of our mat. Fuku's jump switch is a little different. He graciously lifts up and lightly lands on his toe, meanwhile his other foot has teleported between his hands. You don't even see that second part because you are too entranced watching the first. There is no noise or vibration when this happens, the transition between stillness and motion is so seamless that it completely disappears. This man can do things that make a cat seem crude and awkward.<br />
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So, after that #mindblown two hour part-workshop, part-vinyasa, part-sweaty-fun, Shelley, Sonja and I gathered some quick calories and headed off to the studio for 108 sun salutations. There was some discussion of the significance of the number 108 and I while I knew it was one of the special numbers (like 8 is for the Chinese), I am sad that I did not read <a href="http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/2579">this article</a> or <a href="http://blog.silviamordini.com/blog-link.asp?title=FIRE-PRACTICE-MEANING-OF-108&uid={3B4AB655-23CE-411B-B5CE-72EBF1447057}">this blog</a> ahead of time. Specifically this little tidbit of trivia which is sort of #mindblowing as well.<br />
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<i>This number also connects the Sun, Moon, and Earth: The average distance of the Sun and the Moon to Earth is 108 times their respective diameters.</i><br />
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The real beauty of 108 sun salutations, however, is that something which starts off as easy becomes challenging. For those who don't practice, a sun salutation is equivalent to a stride before a run workout, a couple of laps before masters, or that first 2-3 minutes on the bike where everyone stays together and the bs quotient exceeds the work quotient. While there can be vigor in downward dog, chaturanga, and tadasana, these poses are also some of the easiest and most natural to ease into with half measures and quarter efforts which are exactly how a warmup should begin.<br />
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Halfway through the class, which wound up corresponding to 45 out of 90 minutes but well past the 54th sun salutation, Ahlia gave us a verbal indication of having reached a halfway point. This wound up being amusingly controversial as some participants took it as objective data indicating that 50% of the work remained. Having experienced 108 sun salutations twice before, and having put myself through countless endurance events, I know how twisted numbers can become when scrambled into the context of a physical challenge. Many of us who have finished a few marathons would agree that the increase in difficulty experienced during the final 10k cannot truly be measured inside the context of the difficulty of the first 10k. It was therefore heartwarming that Ahlia chose not to give us any numerical feedback although she was counting with beads to make sure we did the correct number.<br />
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Once we reached the end and cooled off with a few supine poses, the net effects started to kick in. While neither session was heated, both rooms were packed and body heat coupled with the humidity of a sweaty room had left all of us fairly depleted. The call was for diet soda and a little recap at casa Melba.<br />
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One little gotchya, though. Todd, having recently moved to the neighborhood, wasn't about to let me off the hook for a New Year's day run. So, by the time I got home with soda, Todd has laced up and jogged the half mile to my door. I threw on my shoes, grabbed Jack's leash, and we took off for a 60 minute tour of the Encinitas ranch trail system. As sunset arrived, at the top of Westlake, I thanked Todd for the final beatdown and Jack and I headed home. I slept heavy that night.<br />
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I'm not sure any of that explains why I am wide awake right now. But it was a great tone to set for the new year, and it was a joyful day to remember, shared with friends, smiles, and plenty of sweat. So I'm sort of still smiling as I remember how lucky I am, to be able to move, to be healthy, and to have the opportunity to share time with others in these simple ways.The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-65440302019212817722012-12-25T17:29:00.002-08:002012-12-25T17:29:32.585-08:00Laptop<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Xvbuwfawqcc?rel=0" width="420"></iframe><br />
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I used to be a desktop kind of guy. It started out as economics, carryover from college days when laptops were an extra expense which wasn't nearly as reasonable as they have become today. With the advent of corporate vpn access, things seemed to get even easier since I could leave my work machine all set up and remote desktop to it from any machine at home. I still hate lugging a heavy laptop around, but something about the 15" macbook pro I was using three years ago turned the corner for me as far as laptops go. Apple has done a phenomenal job at making their products sexy, all save a precious few as as much toy as they are tool. I still don't frequently take my work laptop home. But for home use, my primary machine has become my 13" macbook air.<br />
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There is such a thing as too small, namely the dell mini netbooks I have, a leftover relic from before the days of the iPad. And there is definitely too big or at least too heavy, that defines just about every PC laptop I've ever used.<br />
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All of this got me thinking about the commercial above and how cute I thought it was back when it aired almost one decade ago.<br />
<br />The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-16469191710673499402012-12-09T19:53:00.001-08:002012-12-09T19:53:31.989-08:00HonoluluThe Honolulu marathon was a great exercise in humility today. I seeded smoothly enough but as soon as the fireworks started things I felt myself working too hard. I saw a bunch of familiar faces through the downtown loop and settled into something near 6:30 pace by the return to Ala Moana. The stretch through Waikiki and around Kapiolani park seemed to take a big toll, I felt tired well before mile 10 was in sight. Then, just when I began harboring some real doubt, the headwinds kicked in on Kalanianaole. I'm not sure why but this wound up coinciding with a few stretches of "I feel good" so I somehow managed to get out to the turnaround only about a minute behind Mark and Joel, two local residents both on pace for a 2:50 finish.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQsM7U3t5IEp-6Z6jTN7TZS_IJr3DdxRD8fRqY8dWXFdxNHmMokCA6FzSV_Ky0qEbcZ1pgnrmHWWnhT3bC6X8JswQsmZ_SQsZiir-wZeVSe04Ou4D3Yykj9YdN4wwioU6zHbrs6t3a4RkT/s1600/manoa_falls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQsM7U3t5IEp-6Z6jTN7TZS_IJr3DdxRD8fRqY8dWXFdxNHmMokCA6FzSV_Ky0qEbcZ1pgnrmHWWnhT3bC6X8JswQsmZ_SQsZiir-wZeVSe04Ou4D3Yykj9YdN4wwioU6zHbrs6t3a4RkT/s320/manoa_falls.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Manoa Falls without much water</td></tr>
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The loop in Hawaii Kai was a welcome relief as headwind turned into tailwind and running quickly became much easier. The stretch home, however, seemed to coincide with a few fluctuations, sometimes I felt like I could push, other times I felt a struggle to hold it all together.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj76SjWMYwPtLcPdRioOaomepMxHnfnZ5_1lPl0ELyUfpziN8c2IkmQGFG8dcRZ-Wj6nS4BGalyKg3t8kCRNyxEQjZ0d-E6zAabAh2FJjr77x57MYky9C1np4Sp4v5lztGMoXz-3HPagQJW/s1600/hiking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj76SjWMYwPtLcPdRioOaomepMxHnfnZ5_1lPl0ELyUfpziN8c2IkmQGFG8dcRZ-Wj6nS4BGalyKg3t8kCRNyxEQjZ0d-E6zAabAh2FJjr77x57MYky9C1np4Sp4v5lztGMoXz-3HPagQJW/s320/hiking.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nuuanu overlook at the end of Pauoa Flats trail</td></tr>
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The final climb up Diamond Head was a big challenge. I was gu'd up but somehow I couldn't get the wheels to turn very well and it seemed to take a long time to reach the top.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPP4a_7F3l8KrzCaWQCDwOTthQiUWAIgDHjKJEOKqWTvwj0FOg1M55Wz6Y3tRS8xxSSmNnXbsPw0IirumeQNZOvH5X_IA1E0pIgBq-je9UAcocSCqAQHj8gEEoW2uB0aS-E9S65Q4k_d5-/s1600/banyon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPP4a_7F3l8KrzCaWQCDwOTthQiUWAIgDHjKJEOKqWTvwj0FOg1M55Wz6Y3tRS8xxSSmNnXbsPw0IirumeQNZOvH5X_IA1E0pIgBq-je9UAcocSCqAQHj8gEEoW2uB0aS-E9S65Q4k_d5-/s320/banyon.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Goddess named this banyon the "banging tree"</td></tr>
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The downhill and final kilometer to the finish went by reasonably smoothly. I picked it up a bit but wound up a second or two behind a marine who deservedly got all of the glory at the tape.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_c-Gc-bV-GSEt-SRjV9cSRzQdNfFxfz1ScgoZZVsWBZ6kui8t662_ACnNS0R-Rx6oxKc-AEFQN-_N9WjKNOR3UT-e2cbJVVidXf7vfPJnB4YHNnYBBn1GWZgmO_vwpek39cL7ZUXL6VEv/s1600/sonja_and_dave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_c-Gc-bV-GSEt-SRjV9cSRzQdNfFxfz1ScgoZZVsWBZ6kui8t662_ACnNS0R-Rx6oxKc-AEFQN-_N9WjKNOR3UT-e2cbJVVidXf7vfPJnB4YHNnYBBn1GWZgmO_vwpek39cL7ZUXL6VEv/s320/sonja_and_dave.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kanikapila</td></tr>
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The rest of the day was spent helping Ikaika in his quest to down 26 beers to celebrate his 2nd marathon. We are off to the shack to finish off the 26/26 challenge.<br />
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NOTE: The photos have absolutely nothing to do with the race but are from the trip so far.The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-43046505566339933102012-12-05T18:58:00.001-08:002012-12-05T18:58:13.183-08:00TCSD 2012
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The following is a letter I am sending to my team challenge peeps. I thought I'd share it here so I can remember it.</div>
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Team,</div>
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Congratulations on reaching the finish line! Over the prior 14 weeks you prepared for race day by logging 300 miles, you took 70 sweaty showers, and your feet hit the ground half a million times.</div>
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More than likely you feel fitter now than when we began. With each training cycle, you took another step closer to your peak athletic potential. WIth each season your body grows and just like a plant you will have seasons where the fruit is sweet and plentiful and others which may not be as bountiful. With each race, you might find yourself learning a little more about yourself, if you are able to tap into strength of your body, the determination of your mind, and the desire within your heart.</div>
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In a modern world filled with conveniences which make it possible to live a life almost entirely devoid of physical effort, you all experienced a taste of one of the most basic aspects of humanity: our ability to run long distances. I saw many of you finish and my source of greatest happiness is that nobody gave me the impression that it was too easy, that they were too prepared, that they have learned all of the tricks. Running is actually quite simple, you put one foot in front of the other and eventually you are done. It is also so wonderfully complicated when you deepen into the interactions between mind, body and spirit. To run well, we need agreement from our respiratory, cardiovascular, neuromuscular and digestive systems. To run our best we need harmony, we need clear thoughts and a calm rage to sustain the effort.</div>
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While our finish times varied, I'd like to believe that many of us experienced a number of the same things throughout our evening. I will share mine with you for perspective, and I would encourage all of you to continue to share with each other as well. I believe that through discussion of shared sensations we come to a greater realization of our own journey and how we are all so very similar and yet also so entirely unique.</div>
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I started with Dan in Corral 3 and after a quick discussion we settled in to 8:00 pace in search of a 1:45. The first mile I spent mostly dodging people, trying to develop a feel for the pace. I find that if I calibrate myself well early on it helps when my mind starts to drift later in the race and I wasn't sure how well I know 8:00 pace. We made the turn and settled into something close to 7:50 ish pace by the time we made it back to the start line just past the mile 2 marker. The entire stretch from there until the turnaround loop on the other end of the strip felt smooth and effortless. However, the massive tailwind was a prominent thought as the cape attached to my elvis suit was frequently blown over my shoulder and sometimes even into my mouth. Dan was running strong here and I think he might have been tempted to drop down into mid 7's. I figured we would have 3-4 miles back into the wind so it seemed OK to be a bit faster than goal pace on this stretch. I was thinking if we banked 10s/mile from 2-9 then we'd have 20s/mile to give back from 10-13. I assumed we would need to use most of that buffer unless the buildings somehow blocked the wind for us. However, I also wondered if the extra 10 seconds per mile over 7 or 8 miles might put Dan past his breaking point. Typically the best pacer is the one who sticks exactly to the pace with no deviations even though under these conditions that would mean a large increase in effort over the final miles. I had no real way of knowing what Dan is capable of, having seen him run only once, so I went with raw hope, gut judgement and tried to do what I could to keep him from running any faster than 7:50 pace.</div>
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Well, we made that turn and Dan was still strong and on pace so I was starting to get excited that he might nail his goal on his first attempt. Perhaps beginners luck actually does have a place in running? However, as I looked around I began to see a fair bit of carnage. After watching a few people peel off to the side and walk, and observing the pace slowing by nearly a minute per mile I realized that for everyone racing near their edge, the last 5k was going to be brutal. As I shouted encouragement at various runners and receiving somewhat dirty looks in return I knew that the shift I was expecting was every bit as challenging as I thought it might be. I've done enough racing to know how difficult the last quarter of any long race at full speed can be, but when you add in a drastic change from tailwind to headwind, the table was set for a memorable sufferfest.</div>
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That last stretch seemed to break a lot of people, more so than is typical for a half marathon. I do want to emphasize for the benefit of the first timers that not every race is like that. Some races have hills at a specific point which can be trained on and prepared for. I am thinking specifically of the La Jolla half or AFC since they are home courses and most runners know to expect some extra work on the climbs and a bit of faster running with higher impact on the descents. Vegas has effectively zero elevation gain so it isn't a course which requires any thinking under ideal conditions. In many ways it's a great first timer course and a great course to go PR hunting. The fact that the last two years have seen some rough weather is more indicative of the time of year than anything, racing in December has a higher chance of wintery weather than spring (which can sometimes be wet) or fall (which saw a number of hot weekends for us.)</div>
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But perhaps one of the most beautiful parts about racing, is that it can be just so unpredictable. You can be supremely fit and draw a short straw weather-wise on race day, and you can also be slightly underprepared or maybe just a little injured and stumble into that perfect day where the stars align. Just like love or perfect surf or homemade cheesecake, there is some variability in the outcome no matter how much experience you have, how hard you try, and how diligently you prepare. Most of the classic longer races have at least one of these "oh-s" moments when many of the athletes switch from "racing" into "survival mode." This is actually my favorite part, the breaking point, because every time I encounter it I learn a little something about who I am, what I want, and how I'm going to go about getting it. Much has been written about this breaking point and how it can be a metaphor for life, by writers much more capable than I, so I encourage all of you who might be interested in reading to seek out that out if it appeals to you.</div>
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If you watch the finish line at any endurance race you may get a false sense of how doable it seems because everyone is elated at the finish. The finish line can be compared to a wedding day, a graduation, a retirement, it is where we are typically projecting our best, putting on a smile no matter how we feel about what it took to get there. The start line is more like that raw moment before the start of an interview or moving into the dorms our freshman year of college, the process of arrival carries no inherent definition of who has actually arrived. It is the stuff in between the start and the finish where s-happens, where life is lived, where we experience the ups and downs, the challenges and incremental victories, the moments of hope, the weight of our expectations, the intentions to achieve, and the brutal honest truth of how fragile and limited we all are. There is no trick (beyond EPO and other PED's) which will allow us to run faster than our bodies are able to which is why we train and why I have tried my best to give you a window into your goal race pace. Additionally, there are an infinite number of tricks our minds will play on us over the course of a long race, so many reasons to quit, so many reasons to come up short, to give less than our best, to take a break, to fall down and not get up. Battling all of these elements is a chance to unleash our inner warrior, it is a chance to fight. In the end, we fight for a meaningless number on a clock, a cheesy medal, some sweaty photos, and memories which are written in pain and usually fade into a sweet nostalgia. It is not that we fight for something of value, it is that we find value in the act of fighting.</div>
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Why do we try? Why do I encourage all of you to test your limits? It is most certainly not to win because there is always someone faster. The faster you go has nothing to do with the money raised for the CCFA so as much as Team Challenge might pretend that you are racing for a cure, it would be better phrased that you are fundraising for a cure and you have chosen to race as part of that effort. So, if that's the case, why try? In many ways there isn't an answer I can give you if you don't feel it for yourself. Life just feels more colorful to me when framed next to the context of a deep sensation. Without moments to test myself, I tend to feel a stagnation or complacency creep in.</div>
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I suppose that is the message of this entire long-winded recap of Vegas 2012. I set out at the beginning of the season with an intention to either introduce you to distance running or for those with prior experience, to refine your development towards your peak potential. Across the board I've seen this reflected back in your eyes and your hearts. The reflection I saw on Sunday and the one I seek is not some glossy 3x5 print of you with your arms held high in triumph with tears of joy and a PR on the clock as you click your heels at the finish line. As dramatic as that might appear to be, it's not real. The reflection I saw on Sunday, the one I look for from myself and the one I am so very proud of seeing in you, is the reflection of a warrior who has survived a furious battle, who has risked, who has been thrashed, and who is now returning home a tiny bit wiser, stronger, kinder, and full of gratitude for the simple pleasure of life.</div>
The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-50058326467379393212012-12-02T11:32:00.000-08:002012-12-02T11:32:06.698-08:00TCSD CCFA Vegas Rah Rah<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today marks the end of my 2nd season of coaching for Team Challenge San Diego to raise money for the CCFA. As is often the case, the sophomore year tends to carry along a certain clarity of vision. I don't want this post to mire the energy, enthusiasm or effort that so many have put into the CCFA and the event itself, but there are some things I have a tendency to dislike about Las Vegas.<br />
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1. Gluttony. I still can't erase the memory of actor Bob Mack's death in the movie Se7en where he is forced to eat himself to death. Las Vegas represents, embodies, and promotes gluttony. As someone who has several hard-wired tendencies to over-indulge in all aspects of life, this environment tends to stray from healthy and balanced. As a result, I feel a strong desire to leave as soon as I arrive, not unlike an instinctual gag reflex.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gluttony can kill if Kevin Spacey has a say in it.</td></tr>
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2. Weather. Vegas roasts in the summer since it is, after all, smack dab in the middle of a desert wasteland. Vegas is also frigid in the winter for much of the same reasons. There are a small handful of months with reasonable weather but it tends to be hit or miss. Last year I was as cold as I've ever been. This year looks to be more temperate, in fact it might be ideal racing conditions if the wind doesn't get in the way, so I'm not complaining too loudly. But the simple fact is that when in Vegas, being outside is rarely an enjoyable experience. As a Hawaii boy who lives in San Diego, routine exposure to the sky is a big part of my happiness. I lived in NJ for 4 years and NY for another and I didn't like feeling cooped up inside, I was very unhappy there. I don't think I would survive living in Vegas either, since I don't even like visiting.<br />
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3. Money. Vegas represents the extreme ends of the spectrum, the haves and the have nots, along with plenty of in between. I don't like what money does to people. I think it can be a more destructive force than alcohol. Part of my attraction to yoga is that for the most part the practice is focused on non-monetary pursuits. Of course in the westernized world, studios have to pay rent, utilities, etc so classes cannot be free, but it has always been my intention to teach a weekly free class, to promote free yoga. There are already way too many things in life with a price tag, and I think yoga for free (not talking about donations or work for trade here) is something that an established corporate studio like CorePower can do without much of an impact on their financial picture. My home studio currently offers two such free classes and I think it is one of the best decisions the company has made. I strongly support those who chose to focus their efforts in spaces where they aren't compensated for their time at the same rate as other less altruistic pursuits. The flip side of all this is how uneasy I feel fundraising, asking people for money, and even sitting in a big room to recognize top fundraisers. I understand that charities are about fundraising just as corporate America is about bottom lines. But I just don't really like that part of life, I appreciate the space to ignore that when I can. I work because I have to and so that I can then spend my leftover time with the types of pursuits and passions I believe in. I don't like mixing the two.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.palazzo.com/uploadedImages/Common/Dining/Fine_Dining/LAVO_Brunch_101812.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://www.palazzo.com/uploadedImages/Common/Dining/Fine_Dining/LAVO_Brunch_101812.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Someone actually thought this was a good ad???</td></tr>
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4. Crowds. At almost every race I go to I feel like a tremendous introvert. I hide from the masses, I start on one side or the other or I do whatever I can to sneak into the elite tent just to get some separation from the bodies. Contrast this with how I feel at my home studio, where I am genuinely excited and happy to see all my friends, where I am at times boisterous and effusive. I like groups of 20-30, up to 50 or 60 even. Once a crowd swells to multiple hundreds or even thousands I shrink away. This is yet another reason why I think I could never be a politician or public speaker, not that I mind speaking to large numbers of people, but more that I just don't like being that close to a crowd.<br />
<br />
5. Hotels. I've had some fun travel and some less fun travel over my 38 years of life. I used to be a total race whore but I've cooled substantially. I believe my father enjoys the hotel experience, and all of the associated newness of a space that starts off foreign and often slightly different than any other space previously encountered. I've always been more apt to want to customize my space to suit my daily life, I slant more towards preprogrammed routine than spontaneous improvisational living. While I've made some strides towards being flexible, while I think I can have a good time just about anywhere, I've noticed as I age that I really prefer to be in my space. I think that is the whole reason for owning, for remodeling, and for attempting to create a "home" out of a house. Vegas is the opposite, a place to go to escape all of that.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.vegas.com/shows/images/imagesatod/clayandrewdice2007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://www.vegas.com/shows/images/imagesatod/clayandrewdice2007.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dice is the only show other than Cirque which interests me.<br />
Too bad I miss him by a couple of days.</td></tr>
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So, I find myself oddly homesick. I'll be in the car heading home in just a bit over 12 hours. I'm probably letting the team down a little bit by skipping any post-race festivities but part of me strongly objects to the attitude of the Competitor Group who structures this even around as many hotel days they can get out of the predominantly out-of-town entrants. I quit triathlon precisely because of how ridiculous the Ironman experience is when you factor in time off work, travel fees, hotel fees, bike fees, etc. Running seems to be trending in the same direction and I guess that is one reason why I've drifted out of the running scene progressively. I don't really want bigger nor better. I'm a fan of reasonably priced, well run, local events. The current trend just doesn't seem sustainable, it feels a lot like the housing bubble. Perhaps the more low key events will regain some of their prominence in the future, just as local farmers markets seem to be doing fairly well these days. But for the time being, I'm sort of avoiding all of the hoopla with my intention to spend even more time at my local yoga studio.<br />
<br />
So, there you have it. The race starts in about 5 hours but we group up in 3. I'll be outside from about 4 until 9 and hopefully I won't be too frozen at that point. Then I hop in the shower, try to find some food, pack, and head back to San Diego at midnight. The intention is to be at my studio at 5:15 in time to set up for the first day of boot camp. It'll be an endurance event of sorts, but not one which fits into the mold.<br />
<br />
I'm unsure how I feel about heading to Honolulu on Wednesday. Part of me just really wants to be home, to finish up my geekdesk (photos soon) and maybe get my nas squared away and start work on bringing the leftover parts back to life as either a web server or htpc. The observer notices this and wonders why I am trending towards introvert, what is causing me to seek out this time to balance myself? Most of me really wants to get some quality workouts in, some longer runs, some yoga, and I can only do that when I hide out from the rest of the world so maybe I'm not feeling healthy because I don't feel fit? A big part of me feels that I've been a lousy dad for Hunter, that his days are numbered and I'd really like to spend some time around him, give him a bath, get him to the vet, get his nails clipped, pay them their $500 fee to tell me he's an old dog. Then there is Cody who I haven't seen since Halloween.<br />
<br />
Waking up in Vegas today feels kind of strange. I don't know why I am here.The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-14547256570459549142012-11-16T17:34:00.002-08:002012-11-16T17:35:34.888-08:00LeaderI am blessed with knowing many great leaders in my life, most of them quite unique, many of them unusual.<br />
<br />
Luc, my running pal over the last decade, frequently rubs people the wrong way and doesn't seem at all perplexed about this. He is unabashadly self-righteous and yet surprisingly accepting that the world is not the way he would like it to be. We get along well precisely because I am able to roll over and let him call the shots, he is the alpha. When Luc, Chris and I run together, they are in front and I am behind. This is just the natural order of our dynamic.<br />
<br />
Todd reminds me of John, perhaps because both are successful, good looking dudes with wonderful wives and a pair of kids. They are both badass athletes with a work ethic that makes me scared to even think about. Both aren't nearly as alpha as Luc and Chris, there is give and take in our friendships because they don't need to be in charge of the situation at all times to be happy. They are both highly organized, highly detailed, type-A personalities. And while I'm also very much a type-A, the Hawaii boy in me comes out most within the context of sport, I tend to bring as much creative energy into my workouts as I do intensity and order. So among them, I'm the slacker, the goof off, the class clown. They look out for me, correct my mistakes, and ensure I'm heading in a positive direction.<br />
<br />
The yogger, well, he and I have so many similarities and yet quite a few very priminent differences. Exploring those, dissecting them at times, provides endless fodder. We diverge on the topic of yoga and yet align on the topic of yogging, especially late at night while drunk and wearing jeans. He is a filthy creature, happy to take a bird bath after a 30 mile run whereas I could easily spend 30 minutes scrubbing dirt out of my toes. But when the yogger makes a suggestion, I listen intently because he knows stuff.<br />
<br />
My friendship with my best pal in college, Alex, wasn't far from the friendship I share with the yogger, we are similar creatures and yet we do many things differently as well. Most of all, I think he understands why I make the decisions I do instead of simply being able to predict those decisions without understanding why. While we've drifted apart since we live on separate sides of the country, we sync up rapidly once reunited.<br />
<br />
All of the men above, along with my father of course, are a strong source of influence. When they speak, I listen and try to absorb the message.<br />
<br />
When it comes to yoga, there are quite a few male instructors who have a great presence, who speak words that ring so loud in my ears that I feel compelled to follow them as closely as possible. And then there are others, guys I am happy to call my friend, who I would gladly share a meal with or enjoy their class, but who don't quite connect to my soul in the same manner, they don't command the same level of attention.<br />
<br />
My water polo coach was not large, not intimidating, not mean in any sort of way. But when he spoke, everyone on the team listened. He commanded an audience by the value of the words he offered up to us. He was the first coach I truly feared and yet someone I could relate to, someone I wanted to be more like, but someone who possesed the talent and skill that I would never have. When it came to track, as much as I loved running, the coach was almost as old as my grandfather and as adorable as he was with his shorts pulled higher than his belly button, he did not carry quite capture my attention.<br />
<br />
I am purposefully leaving women out of this post mostly because, as a straight guy, the additional complexity of sexual chemistry makes evaluating female leadership even more complicated for me. I will say that this extra complexity, the richness of the interaction across the sexes, is one of the most interesting parts of being a student. Surely my father learns more from Yanna, with whom he competes with regularly, than he could from Lucas, her husband, who is every bit as able-footed of a dancer. And while there are a number of incredible male yoga instructors who can bend and twist and lift their legs to the ceiling, male energy is never the same as female energy.<br />
<br />
Where am I going with this? True to form, I'm taking the long way to my thought of the day. What is the true essence of a great leader?<br />
<br />
I think this is a very personal question. Some of us want a firm guide, someone to tell exactly what to do and how to do it. Others demand a leader with a certain kindness that allows us to feel safe and protected, that we might open up our flowers to the sun and not fear the rain. There also exists another group who values the art of incremental instruction, that special ability to lead in a controlled, methodical, step-by-step manner without going too fast at any single point. The list of styles seems more like an infinite continuum.<br />
<br />
I think the biggest hangup for me and my intention to teach yoga is that the Dave Easa I am, the one I cannot escape from, is not necessarily the type of instructor I prefer for myself. I am not the leader I would self-select. While I do realize that I am ever-evolving both as teacher and student, I still feel comfortable saying this little hangup isn't going to simply dissolve away tomorrow.<br />
<br />
When I look at the coaches and instructors who inspire me most, they are the ones who demonstrate strength and confidence in a space I am unable to find it. They all share similar characteristics of rigidity. They are all fiercely loyal to their own truth. <br />
<br />
I struggle to make black and white statements. I rarely suggest a best path. As a run coach I don't know if I even have that much of a personality, I'm not overly demanding nor am I some great nurturing force. I'm kind of just an exciteable guy who tries to pump energy in as many different directions as I can when I'm leading. Within the context of yoga, I don't feel like I'm all that much fun even though I've really tried to be. I'm often simply surprised that my athletes and my students enjoy my leadership, not because I think I suck, but because I know what I like and I'm not it.<br />
<br />
A key question asked when evaluating a yoga instructor is, "would you take their class?" I think the reason I have been dragging my feat with yoga teaching is that I would not yet want to take my own class. This is not really a question of self love or self hate, it's very much a stylistic question. I take a lot of classes from instructors that I don't really enjoy beyond the joy I create in my own body by moving and bending. I attempt to experience the variety that is available so that I may more clearly understand the essence of what it is that I prefer. Similarly, my father dances with all sorts of women many of whom he does not actually enjoy dancing with as a window into the ones he adores dancing with.<br />
<br />
I suppose I don't understand myself until I can explain to myself why other people enjoy being coached by me or enjoy taking class from me.The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-43536073810832387042012-11-04T18:18:00.004-08:002012-11-04T18:18:52.566-08:00Ranch Run v2Miss Sonja took a cool photo of us at the start of the ranch run today.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLe4ISafCxFnhEnj0wZx1XaGYnGfyvKIsypGqi6I9AWnjkZ7sWSAB39Di4-tEphl75w1HE4blkoHry9k_nz5w0QyT9nXgXd75iReqzhgyV1hOn6SuQswDWrUisnLQTbQwJrv_a3nNUFGgH/s1600/ranch.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLe4ISafCxFnhEnj0wZx1XaGYnGfyvKIsypGqi6I9AWnjkZ7sWSAB39Di4-tEphl75w1HE4blkoHry9k_nz5w0QyT9nXgXd75iReqzhgyV1hOn6SuQswDWrUisnLQTbQwJrv_a3nNUFGgH/s320/ranch.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Keith, Todd, Luc, Ramon, Me, Jeff, Chris, David Lipke</td></tr>
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<br />
<br />
We also picked up Patrick and John Healy at the "old" start. Being old and somewhat grumpy, we now opt for the Cafe Positano start where we can bs about how awesome we were(n't) after it's all over.<br />
<br />
Today (Chris) Hupfeld crushed me climbing Sun Valley. It was a perfect response to the one time I managed to edge him by a millimeter back in fitter (and more angry) days over 2 years ago now. In my fat and slow complacency, I had no response to his mid mountain charge and he stamped complete authority all over the place. I limped home in last place after getting dropped with a few miles to go, even the yogger left me behind and out of visual range. However, despite the personal blows to the ego (which I truly adore) it was one of the better days out in the ranch because running with friends never sucks. Running with friends is one of the most basic forms of sharing space.<br />
<br />
Life is good and it's hard to forget that sometimes.The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-68401926385492160372012-10-29T05:12:00.000-07:002012-10-29T05:12:04.217-07:00SundayThe Sunday ranch run is always a highlight of my week but often for different reasons. Sometimes it is about the discussion, sometimes the course, sometimes the effort, and sometimes the weather. It all started for me as an intimidating introduction to the local running community and it was the first place where I got to run side-by-side with Ironman champions. I owe some of this to my trailmom, Laurie (aka Rapunzel), who first mentioned a group self-named as "El Perdido" who met at San Dieguito park on Sundays at 8am. After some discussion I found out that more than one group would start from the same location, with some of the old timers heading out at 7 or 7:30 and those with fleeter feet laying chase at 8. I allowed myself to be talked into checking it out with Laurie's own group of primarily masters runners one morning. For some reason I decided to bring Hunter with me, and after suggestions to let him off leash once we got on trail, he promptly threw down a nice coil and left me on poop patrol. That was the last I saw of Hunter until the group returned from the loop, apparently he had stayed with everyone while I cleaned up his mess, lost the car key somewhere in the wood chips, and spent the rest of the morning stressing out because I couldn't figure out where they had gone or if Hunter had followed. I was lucky that Laurie was resourceful and good with dogs, she used her shirt as a leash and kept an eye out for him that day, returning him to me as a tired dog which really is the best kind of dog there is.<br />
<br />
On one subsequent venture into the ranch, I brought Mika and Tomppa as they were staying with me en route to Kona. We met up with Jurgen Zack and as I remember it, one or two others. I was reasonably fit at the time, but not nearly prepared to run with as fast as they did, so I managed to hang for about half of the 11 mile loop but I fell off the back around the reservoir. I took a wrong turn heading home and then another wrong turn and wound up having to retrace my steps. Three hours after the start I found the car and a laughing group of professional triathletes who had no choice but to sit and wait for me. I was mildly embarrassed at my mistake, but I knew it could have happened to anyone who didn't know the area, the roads are very windy, the hills are confusing, and the trails criss cross each other as they snake through small canyons and ridges.<br />
<br />
Once I started coming more regularly, I got to know that 11 mile loop a little too well. The first hill, where I had lost my car key that day, it was always a place to test yourself and others, sometimes in thick wood chips, sometimes in mud, sometimes the first few hot rays of sun exposure. Make it up that thing with the group and I'd be OK for the rest of the day but if I fell off the back there, it would set up an ominous theme for later. The 5950 rock is another little hidden spot, one day I took a thorn at that turn and man did it hurt, other days there would just be a river of mud for almost a half mile which made footing very difficult.<br />
<br />
For some reason, or perhaps for no reason, I became friends with Luc. He has since been a part of all of my running accomplishments as we typically run together 3-4 times a month, almost always on Sundays in the ranch. Luc has been running in the ranch for almost as long as I've been running, so he knows them all very well and under his direction I ventured off into some of the lesser traveled sections. One day we named a course "The Tiger" since that was big news at the time, and we started using that course as an alternate route on rainy days because the footing was better for much of it. Luc coined his own "classic" consisting of the majority of the 11 mile standard loop plus a number of additional hills and what felt like a backdoor arrival to the finish, increasing mileage to about 14.<br />
<br />
For some reason, or perhaps for no reason, after perhaps a decade of 8am starts at San Dieguito Park, Luc, Chris, Todd and I shifted and began running from the village, starting and finishing at Cafe Positano. At the time I did not give this shift much thought, I felt like it may have been temporary, and while it was a further drive, it did seem more civilized. The best part of that decision was our ability to spend up to an hour or more bs'ing after the run while drinking coffee. As ironic as it sounds, this move may have been the most brilliant decision ever made with regards to the Sunday ranch run as it opened up all sorts of new possibilities. The standard easy run became a loop to the coast, passing through the golf course, the lagoon, the coastal stretch of 101 in Solana Beach, and heading back east past the race track along the coast to crest trail. That course is as "classic" as any, with it's share of ocean views, breathtaking scenery, horse stables, trees, and even a few water stops. Alternatively, we could head east out towards Lake Hodges and turn around at the dam for roughly the same total distance on very well groomed trail with more climbing involved, such as we did yesterday. On top of these options we had all of the same routes we did before with just a different start/end point.<br />
<br />
Luc typically brings his purple-cased iPad to the table and the first one done buys the first round at this cash-only but oh-so-cozy coffee joint. On hot days, Todd and I hose off at the real estate office which conveniently leaves a hose coiled up outside for watering the plants in front of its window. Sometimes we speak of politics, sometimes history, sometimes women, sometimes children. On any given week, someone will have to leave early while others can stay and linger. It has become something truly special, a small piece of routine in an otherwise disorganized and unplanned weekend. We consistently invite other friends to join us but it seems as if nobody else has the interest in the alternate start. There are the die hards who continue the San Dieguito 8am start and then there are those who prefer a Seaside Market start and stick to the coast with an out and back to Torrey Pines. Obviously a large group would not work so well in the ranch, as the cafe can barely hold 10 people in line and with one group of cyclists present, the chances of being able to grab a table outside approach zero. As a result, our group of four becomes a little tighter every week, living through deaths of parents, bike crashes, children growing older and heading off to college, dogs aging, and of course as the token unmarried guy, the ubiquitous talk of the ups and downs of marriage, the challenges of men and women relating, and how to work running into an otherwise busy life.<br />
<br />
At one point a number of years ago I accepted a new job and planned to move out of town. Believe it or not, the ranch run was on the top 10 list of reasons why I wanted to stay. I wound up reversing my decision and I'm sure that was the right choice. Jobs come and go, dogs get older, children get old, we all get older, shoot even the barista gets older, but the ranch run remains.The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-33862856152234092962012-10-23T07:52:00.000-07:002012-10-23T07:52:02.297-07:00Sometimes I readLately, I haven't read enough. I haven't made time for many things that I truly appreciate in life, reading friend's blogs, making time to see and talk to friends in person, reading books, walking Hunter, etc.<br />
<br />
Work has taken over a large portion of my weekdays. Perhaps I am particularly poor at multitasking or perhaps there is something truly exhausting about the never-done aspect of software, it could always be better, and the millionth iteration is no more complete than the thousandth.<br />
<br />
My yoga practice is suffering, and my running is nonexistent. I loved reading about <a href="http://jameswalshracing.com/2012/10/wiem-50k-race-report-laying-it-on-the-line.html/">James's</a> course record last weekend, meanwhile the thought of racing seems terribly foreign.<br />
<br />
I barely have time during the day to walk next door to grab lunch before they close. I typically get by with groceries bought once a week at jimbos and kept in the office fridge to fuel myself. I typically get dehydrated even though the water spigot is merely 10 feet away.<br />
<br />
I'm overdue on coaching updates to the team from our time trial on Saturday. I didn't see Cody last weekend, and I only got half of the hedge "fixed" after it felt down in the rain/wind.<br />
<br />
And so, the moments for self reflection are few. The moments for reading are even fewer. I don't even have a child, I simply cannot fathom how parents are able to survive a single day.<br />
<br />
I look forward to a little bit of settling down, but meanwhile I recognize this steady roller coaster of a ride that work has become. I hear about it from everyone else as well. It seems as if the generation before us had some modicum of sustainability to their jobs which we may never know. Feast or famine is the modern definition of work, no employer seems healthy without a big growth angle.<br />
<br />
I remember feeling this way about this time last year. Perhaps coaching simply is asking too much of myself. Of course I have college interviews coming up which always take more time than I expect, 1 hour to meet, 20 minutes to drive each way, and another hour to write about a student who has less than a 1% chance of getting in to Princeton, it all seems so futile and wasteful, just as my father's discussion of the <a href="http://easad.blogspot.com/2012/10/what-is-wrong-with-these-pictures.html">Waikiki storefronts spewing cold air</a> onto the sidewalk.<br />
<br />
I know how to deal with this, just like any stress, the first response is to simply "breathe". Yoga truly helps me through these times. But I also know that I'm going to have to say no to things in the future and that's part of what seems to wear on me now. I don't like saying no. I'm not any good at it.The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-73147654443070943722012-10-15T18:09:00.001-07:002012-10-24T07:43:34.922-07:00EPOThose three letters, in that combination, a black mark on endurance sports they seem have become.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM3bNzUDNRZh5Q007lnxrPbCaYvKM1uCDL6B0HnUaOSgXBAYHZ7pOXwKksYyx70Dp0i-Wn_b1nVRwr_3b1OYPMGNDThkhttRmPl3xW4CbWP6sdYo85q4wOtvv3DQ5Zpxfq43xGFWi-1oz0/s1600/EASA_2007-02-16_CBC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM3bNzUDNRZh5Q007lnxrPbCaYvKM1uCDL6B0HnUaOSgXBAYHZ7pOXwKksYyx70Dp0i-Wn_b1nVRwr_3b1OYPMGNDThkhttRmPl3xW4CbWP6sdYo85q4wOtvv3DQ5Zpxfq43xGFWi-1oz0/s200/EASA_2007-02-16_CBC.jpg" width="153" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Feb 2007</td></tr>
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I don't empathize with <a href="http://running.competitor.com/2012/10/staff-blog/staff-blog-anything-for-eyeballs_60384">Christian Hesch</a>, just as I didn't for <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/news/story?id=1920706">Nina Kraft</a> or <a href="http://daveeasa.blogspot.com/2012/02/seat.html">John Friend</a>, all of whom seem to have forgotten something about why they were doing what they were doing when they were so busy doing it. I don't attempt to understand anyone else's decision-making when I'm still trying to find a frame of reference to understand my own. I feel no pain for the running community based on one person's decision to take EPO or any other banned substance, nor do I feel like it matters enough to warrant any sort of formal punishment or lifetime ban. I don't condone Christian's actions nor do I condemn them. My feelings lie somewhere in between, in that grey area of nebulous indifference. Selling your integrity for $40k seems strange to me but so do a lot of things that I do on a daily basis.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://goforayog.blogspot.com/">yogger</a> had a great quote today, "If you're serious about training, everything you do and everything you put in your body is intended to be performance enhancing." The rules of what is allowed and what isn't don't seem based in a black and white, right and wrong type of world.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHAZffaeOyWrKmcaSh12a5fAFZq_dkgSgGfkqZY5UpgFzUOwLWfEoPSM7g773qrQ-_dIg7Sdv6BWHyQ2sKaNwWu9dZMA6RAKV15BLV-nASZxH6nasBHCxHDXaKEam6I4rwLKKmb0Ko1XLS/s1600/EASA_2007_05_17_CBC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHAZffaeOyWrKmcaSh12a5fAFZq_dkgSgGfkqZY5UpgFzUOwLWfEoPSM7g773qrQ-_dIg7Sdv6BWHyQ2sKaNwWu9dZMA6RAKV15BLV-nASZxH6nasBHCxHDXaKEam6I4rwLKKmb0Ko1XLS/s200/EASA_2007_05_17_CBC.jpg" width="145" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">May 2007</td></tr>
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Take me for example. I had one season of Flowers-for-Algernon racing. My HCT went from 43 to almost 48 by sleeping in a tent designed to limit the amount of oxygen I breathed as a simulation of sleeping at altitude. After a few weeks of sleeping in said tent, I felt like I had an extra gear and a physical advantage over my previous self. I was able to train at a level I had never reached previously, and by doing so I prepared my body to run faster than I ever thought I might. Christian's actions, regardless of his intentions, seem not so far removed from my own.<br />
<br />
Christian admits to EPO boosting his HCT from <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/15/sports/runner-christian-hesch-describes-doping-with-epo.html?pagewanted=all">44 to 51</a> which isn't terribly far off from the boost I saw, a change from a baseline at 43 to almost 48.<br />
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<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5AmcDbg30XWpkeIULSFgRetw4c1ooob5fi_jWZ_FHSYmvu2qT4EX5bcTMonv6Z9OJ4wh9sWkPwpbyCMapELzbzIwaWsUIXB0rRY70yU8XvFo1EbEVkI61uqAZ3yOfSnWeuLtpDP_k3P2x/s1600/easa_cbc_after.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5AmcDbg30XWpkeIULSFgRetw4c1ooob5fi_jWZ_FHSYmvu2qT4EX5bcTMonv6Z9OJ4wh9sWkPwpbyCMapELzbzIwaWsUIXB0rRY70yU8XvFo1EbEVkI61uqAZ3yOfSnWeuLtpDP_k3P2x/s200/easa_cbc_after.png" width="196" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aug 2010<br /></td></tr>
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I haven't had my blood drawn in a while but I'd imagine I've returned to something near 43 by now and I certainly feel every bit as human as I usually do, limited by a governor which keeps me from daydreaming about chasing another PR. So, what keeps me from asking my friend to loan his tent to me again? I don't have an answer to that question. It was a complete thrill to race with thicker blood, I certainly felt the effects and I wouldn't object to feeling that way again sometime. Why is one method of increasing performance OK and another not? What about the whole silliness with women who were paced by men being stripped of world records?<br />
<br />
I guess it all seems arbitrary to me. Luckily I'm not good enough to waste too much time thinking about the athlete I could be with a little bit of "help" since it still wouldn't be anything of note. And as I age, I feel like my life has shifted, it has become more about the method than the outcomes, however fatalistic that may seem.<br />
<br />
Maybe I am a little sad. Sad that racing doesn't seem to make much sense to me. Sad that something I once loved with such a passion seems so unimportant to me now. But that doesn't have anything to do with Christian Hesch or EPO.The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-83638517862930050702012-10-13T13:22:00.002-07:002012-10-13T13:22:20.024-07:00PeaksI had one of those effortless workouts this morning as I looped Mission Bay in my coach's shirt, herding my sheep, soaking in the Autumn sunshine, and breathing in the moist salt air. Granted it was only 11 at a 9:00 pace so of course it's going to feel easy peasy, but it did get me thinking.<br />
<br />
The last two months, since starting my latest job, haven't been the best training. I started out reasonably fit, put on weight, and wound up getting progressively less fit. That's a standard trend for me when I'm stressed trying to deal with a new job and trying to measure up to the players who have been around longer and inevitably know more than I do. I accept it.<br />
<br />
At the end of the workout, one of my athletes asked why she didn't feel a huge burst of energy when she ate a Gu midway through and I tried to explain how fueling during running is aimed primarily at avoiding the bonk rather than seeking a moment of elated euphoria. Which sort of got me thinking more.<br />
<br />
While I'm not a huge over-indulger in sex, drugs, and rock and roll, I certainly understand their appeal, along with tagging a mountain peak, winning a race, falling in love, etc. These euphoric moments often accompany a rush of adrenaline, a great sense of satisfaction, and a buzz which I can certainly understand someone else becoming addicted to. But they also have corresponding crashes which in my mind negate some of the brilliance. My friend Shelley once told me, in a moment of realization, "you want to skip the honeymoon and go straight to the hard part of a relationship" and I felt that was an adequate description of my take on most things.<br />
<br />
So, yeah, I totally get the thrill seekers, as I am not immune to the seductiveness of excitement. I'm with you. But I'm not built like you so much. I am a little different.<br />
<br />
I'm far more vulnerable to the spontaneous seduction of a long run punctuated by a lack of "bad pain". Managing the trough, the valley, it seems like a very big key to the ultrarunner mindset and it's how I get the most enjoyment. How can I minimize my "wasted" time? How can I avoid "slowing down"? What techniques can I employ to shrink moments of depression, frustration, or anger? Geronimo seems to have this wired, his zen-like attitude makes for a man devoid of massive swings of emotional state. There are a myriad of life lessons in this pursuit.<br />
<br />
I truly adore the surprise morning runs which seems like it could be twice as long and I'd feel just as good at the end. I find those workouts better than sex, better than momentary highs which inevitably fade as the brain returns to sea level. Perhaps part of this is why I have such a soft 5K pr and that my 10K pr is from the AFC half? I'm not sure, but to me the most exciting part of life is the part that might still be a part of my present by the time I've reached tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Peaks are cool. I like peaks. But I'm a bigger fan of working through the valleys.The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-8504125019884637372012-10-10T14:46:00.002-07:002012-10-11T21:58:34.251-07:00258<div>An interview with <a href="http://twofiftynine.blogspot.com/">Rachel Ross</a> about her 2:58 PR at the Chicago marathon<br />
</div><br />
<div><b>1. You recently achieved a long term goal of your first sub 3 hour marathon. Chronicle the timeline and all of the prior attempts on your journey to this accomplishment.</b><br />
</div><div><p>I ran my first marathon at Honolulu in Dec. 2005 in 3:12. I had thought 3:30 was a reasonable goal, at the time. Since I qualified for Boston 2006, I figured I should run it. I ran 3:04 there. I definitely thought about sub-3 after that. But then, I got sucked into the Ironman vortex, where I remained for the next 4 years. I ran Honolulu a few times in there (3:12s, almost all of them) but didn't focus much on open marathons. I ran 3:18-3:23 in all of my Ironmans, I think.<br />
</p><p>Then in December 2010, my friends Stacky, KN, and I went to Vegas for the marathon. My friend <a href="http://californiatraining.blogspot.com/">Beth Walsh</a> was just coming off a 3:10 marathon in the Kona Ironman, and I thought that translated to sub-3, easy, and told her to come. She did. So I went for it with her. We ran a 1:30 first half, an then I got tired. She went on to run 2:59. I ran 3:03. A little closer.<br />
</p><p>In 2011, <a href="http://charisawernick.com/">Charisa</a> told me I should employ the services of an excellent pacer named Dave Easa to help me break 3 hours at Honolulu. I knew who he was from high school, but since he was older and cooler, he'd never heard of me. I emailed and asked if he wanted to run with me anyway. He did. I went in a bit of an emotional wreck, and under-prepared. In spite of world-class pacing, I ran 3:08. I signed up for Chicago because it's flat and considered fast, and I figured I need every little bit of help I can get.<br />
</p></div><div><b>2. How would you compare the Chicago course to various other courses you have raced? Was there something special about the course which helped you achieve this goal?</b><br />
</div><div><p>The course was everything everyone said it would be. Flat, fast, lots to look at, great support. I don't think I would've run 2:58 on the Honolulu course yesterday. The cold weather made me want it done as fast as possible. The long straightaways let me focus on pace and nothing else. I always had people around me to use, either to follow, or pace off of, or make fun of in my head.<br />
</p></div><div><b>3. Comment on the weather and specifically what it feels like for a Hawaii girl to be in 40 degree temps. You mentioned dressing like a Michelin Man for the start, did that work ok?</b><br />
</div><div><p>It worked! I wore the beanie until mile 16. People were cheering: "Go eskimo girl!" The only real problem was gloves. I bought Nike knit gloves at the expo. They soaked through when I grabbed water at the aid stations, my hands froze up, and I wasn't able to get shot bloks out of the bag after the 11 mile marker, so I think that's the last time I ate. That could have been a deal-breaker!<br />
</p></div><div><p>All in all, I think the cold weather was key to making the sub-3 day. I was uncomfortably cold a lot of the time. But I think that yields a better performance than uncomfortably warm. My body didn't have to work so hard to keep me from overheating, so it could work on running instead.<br />
</p></div><div><b>4. The Elite Development experience is much closer to first class than business class in terms of privileges. Did having special treatment factor into your mindset or your performance in a substantial way? How different was the elite development experience than VIP at Honolulu?</b><br />
</div><div><p>The Elite Development Tent made all the difference in my pre-race experience. Even dressed as the Michelin man, I would have been miserable waiting in the corral. I get so cold sometimes that no amount of clothing can make me ok.<br />
</p><p>As for the race - it took me a while to warm up my legs. I think that would've happened with or without the EDT. But I bet I started happier because of the EDT. And it's always good to start happy. I have never really taken advantage of the Honolulu VIP start, because the race starts so close to home. It starts at 5:00 am, and I try to arrive at 4:45. So I can't really compare the full experience. I'm pretty sure they don't heat the tent, though. Last year I tried to drop a sweater there, because I had access and a low bib, and a volunteer bit my head off, yelling that the bag drop was only for "real elites." So.<br />
</p></div><div><b>5. You shared this experience with KN, your long time friend and training partner who also co-blogs with you. Describe how important her help was in achieving this goal, what she said specifically to help get you ready and how her calm early on contributed to your success.</b><br />
</div><div><p>KN is always a calm and happy presence. A shared goal seems less daunting. We were both chasing sub-3. Sometimes I felt stupid even stating such an ambitious goal, like some first time tennis player saying my goal for the day was to beat the Venus sister that's really a man at Wimbeldon. But there's safety (or confidence) in numbers. We worked out our training plan together, did long runs and speed work together, and all of that factored into Sunday's race. On race day, she helped me pre-race by joking around with me, chatting about nothing, and fashion-policing at the start.<br />
</p><p>She helped a ton in the early miles, using her GPS to keep us on pace. I might have blown it without her. I was bummed when we drifted apart during the race, but we have a deal - if one of us is feeling good, we go. There's no staying back to support each other in an A race, and that's what Chicago was.<br />
</p></div><div><b>6. You've completed Ironman and you've run sub 3, can you comprehend the difficulty of putting those two together? If so, what form does that comprehension take in your mind?</b><br />
</div><div><p>Honestly, it suddenly sounds less insane to me! Maybe because Beth just did it and made it sound easy. I'm not saying I could do it (no way could I do it) but I think if one was really fit in the bike, and then had a good day out on the run course... Well, I get it.<br />
</p></div><div><b>7. What went through your head over that last, long, straight, 2-mile-long stretch? Did you experience any doubt?</b><br />
</div><div><p>I knew I was slowing down, but I was confident the worst that would happen was 7 min/mile. I don't know why I thought that was worst-case scenario, I've certainly run slower in the last 2 miles of a marathon before. But I'd seen enough 6:39-6:44 splits to be pretty confident at that point. In fact, I think my confidence that I'd eek in under 3 improved with every mile that ticked off. I spent most of that last 2 miles trying to pass women (I think I got 5 or 6 in mile 26) and trying to hide from the headwind between men. My dad was standing at the 25 mile marker, and I can't remember what was said, but he didn't look like I was blowing it, so I took that as a good sign.<br />
</p></div><div><b>8. If you could have Ikaika at the finish line waiting for you with a big bear hug and the beverage of your choice but no extra clothes and you'd still have to walk back to the tent in your race gear, or you could have a volunteer hand you a full length down parka to warp yourself in as soon as you crossed the line, which would you choose?</b><br />
</div><div><p>Ikaika. I didn't even have to read the rest of the question.<br />
</p></div><div><b>9. You have discussed your sensitive stomach in the past, did this factor in on race day? Did you have any moments of nausea during or after the race?</b><br />
</div><div><p>I usually start getting chills in the second half of a marathon, then wind up with horrible cramps and well, runner's trots, for 2-3 hours after a marathon. Even with preventative immodium pre- and in-race. I had none of it on Sunday. I had goosebumps from the cold the entire way, so maybe I didn't notice the chills. I met my parents and we bolted for their condo a few miles from the finish immediately, because I was that sure I'd be sick. And the sick just never came. I wonder if it was the cold. Now that I think about it, I didn't get sick after the 3:03 in Vegas. Or the 3:04 in Boston, and both were 40-50 degrees. It could simply be the cold, or it could be the changes I make to my nutrition when it's cold. I only drink water during the race. And I don't hit every aid station, just every other aid station. And this time, I didn't eat anything on the back half, because of my total hand malfunction.<br />
</p></div><div><b>10. You mention kicking Minnie's butt, but did you notice anyone else on the course who fired you up to beat them? Of the many who you passed over the last 10k, did anyone other than Minnie stand out? How much of this accomplishment was internal mental toughness as compared to competitive fire sparked from the outside?</b><br />
</div><div><p>The thing I love about marathons vs. triathlons is that I don't feel very competitive in marathons. I feel like most tri-girls are all about who they beat, which is part of why I don't go back to Kona every year. There's too much negativity. At marathons, I feel like it's a cameraderie. We are all out there racing ourselves, our brains, and the clock. I made it a goal to pass girls just to give myself something to think about other than "6:45, keep on it, 6:45." But I said something nice to each one I passed. One girl flew past me at the 26 mile mark, and I thought "WOW, she's amazing!" We spoke after and her last mile was sub-6. There was one heavy-breathing girl who tried to latch on at mile 19 or so, and I made a point of ditching her over<br />
the next mile, just because she sounded so tired, and I was afraid listening to her would make me feel tired. I think most of this race was about battling my brain to reach my goal of sub 3h. Kicking Minnie Mouse's ass was just a bonus.<br />
</p></div><div><b>11. Describe how you felt going over that little carpeted bridge before the dip, underpass, and left turn at mile 22 or so.</b><br />
</div><div><p>I don't know what you're talking about. So maybe I felt ok? Is that where they were giving out beer? I remember thinking that all the guys running over to take cold beer in 40 degree weather were totally insane.<br />
</p></div><div><b>12. What did you eat the night before and what did you eat race morning?</b><br />
</div><div><p>I carbo-loaded for the first time ever. I cut carbs Mon - Fri (with the exception of Trader Joe's PB Cups), even though I hear that is out-dated science and unnecessary, and then on Saturday, I actually had breakfast (rare) of an english muffin and egg whites, I had a chicken sandwich and a scone at whole foods for lunch, and a cinnamon roll in mid-afternoon. By dinner time I felt like a whale, so I had some bites of my mom's spinach salad and my dad's pasta at a little Italian place in Hyde Park. Race morning, I woke up early to eat, so that I wouldn't have any weird blood sugar spikes/crashes going on by the start. I usually just have a venti soy latte pre-race, but this time I added a clif bar at 2.5 hours pre-race. I didn't eat anything in the two hours leading up to the race, and just sipped on water.<br />
</p></div><div><b>13. Would it have been helpful to have KN with you longer? Or did it help your focus to be alone?</b><br />
</div><div><p>I love running with KN, and it would absolutely have helped and made the experience more rewarding to have her by my side the whole way. We rarely spoke in the miles we ran together, we were very focused, and I certainly didn't gain anything by being alone. It was ok, but not what I had hoped for for the day.<br />
</p></div><div><b>14. There is a turnaround at around mile 18 where you feel pretty far away from the start/finish. It also starts to thin out at that point in the race. Did your thoughts drift in any way as you made that turn?</b><br />
</div><div><p>18 - that's where that heavy-breathing girl showed up. She sounded like she was in the last 100m of a 5k. So my only thoughts were "ditch this chick" and also, "wow, we're kind of in the hood. I wouldn't want to be the last person on the course today."<br />
</p></div><div><b>15. Were you happy wearing shorts in 40 degree temps? Would you have dressed any differently? Thicker gloves?</b><br />
</div><div><p>Better gloves. But aside from that, I think everything else was just right.<br />
</p></div><div><b>16. Now that the dust has settled but the experience is still fresh, do you think this was simply a greater effort than the past or was it a combination of a strong effort, decent conditions, and a fast course?</b><br />
</div><div><p>It was a combination of things. I have worked harder than that in a race for a crappier result. I think I was stronger from my training. I think I was more determined than ever to run sub-3. And I think great conditions and a fast course were absolutely part of it. I recognized that I had the best possible build, the best possible conditions and course, and I'd pretty much told everyone I'd ever met plus a million strangers on the internet that I was out there to break 3. Although I reminded myself that there's no shame in going after something and failing, I also knew I'd be pretty ashamed had I failed.<br />
</p></div><div><b>17. Describe the halfway point cheer station, the crowd, the noise, and how it affected you making that right hand turn.</b><br />
</div><div><p>I saw my family right after that turn. I heard my aunt from that huge crowd, somehow, and was so happy to catch sight of them. I smiled and waved. I loved that right turn. I also knew based on the split that sub-3 was possible, but I wouldn't let myself get excited yet. Too much can happen on the back half. No one told me that it's uphill<br />
right there, but that really felt like a climb up and over the bridge, to me. I checked the split after that little climb and saw 6:44 again, and got a little more optmistic.<br />
</p></div><div><b>18. Did you think of any of your kids during the race? Any specific thoughts you'd be willing to share? Or was this more of a personal experience during which you retreated into your own head?</b><br />
</div><div><p>You know, I should really say yes. And that I do it for my kids. But no, endurance sports are so selfish, and my kids think all moms run marathons and have no idea that my time goal is any different than anyone elses, really, so it's not like they're especially invested. I thought of them, yes, a few times, and wondered what they were doing on Kauai today, and thought that they'd be excited if I broke 3. I called them after, and Sky and Henry forgot I had a race and didn't ask my time when I told them I'd just run the marathon. Wyatt, though, my middle kid, he asked and was excited about my time.<br />
</p></div><div><b>19. Is there an individual athlete who motivated you in a specific way over the past 6 months? Please don't say Lance Armstrong :p</b><br />
</div><div><p>I heart Lance.<br />
</p><p>Do I have to pick just one? I have a bunch:<br />
<ul><li>Katherine, who went after the goal with me. I know she really believed I could do it, and I wanted to live up to that.<br />
</li>
<li>Brigitte, who is after the same goal but couldn't make the Chicago trip, who also really believed I could do it and who offered up lots of great, positive thinking guidance. She's also tough as nails, that one, and carried me through a lot of miles.<br />
</li>
<li>Beth, because if she can do it off the bike, I sure as hell should be able to do it in an open marathon.<br />
</li>
<li>Ikaika, because he is a world champion paddler who knew my every training workout, my every meal, my every fear, and how my brain works more than anyone else, and he absolutely believed I could do it. He texted me the night before, as I lay there not sleeping, from Molokai. "You ate awesome and I love you and am proud of you no matter what. Plus you're super hot." He made me laugh when I needed to stop worrying, and he reminded me not to stress out, that in the end, sub-3 or not, life would be fine. (I think he meant "are awesome" but I could have ate awesome too).<br />
</li>
</ul></p></div><div><b>20. Now that it is settling in, do you feel this result is repeatable? Do you feel a desire to keep pushing the limit of your marathon PR? Do you have a satisfaction that allows you to focus on other goals, perhaps triathlon again or different distance PR's?</b><br />
</div><div><p>Yes, I feel it's repeatable, but I don't know if I could improve upon it. And no, I don't feel a major desire. I bet I will later, though. I already know what I'd tweak to try to do it a little faster. I had in my head that I'd race for the sub-3 at Chicago, then go to NYC and just cruise it and enjoy the race and sights. I feel satisfied enough to do that. If it's under 40 degrees in NYC, I will sleep in instead.<br />
</p></div><div><b>21. What is your favorite part of Chicago? What did you do for fun after the race?</b><br />
</div><div><p>Hanging with my family. My parents are there, and we spent the whole time together. I also have aunts and uncles and cousins etc. in Chicago. Even though I never lived there, it's our family's home. After the race I took a bath for fun, then laid around on the floor and watched football with my dad and the dogs. I don't even understand football, but my brain was fried enough to lie there and pretend. By the next day, my mom and I were shopping downtown again.<br />
</p></div><div><b>22. How do your legs feel after this effort as compared to previous ones. Does a PR mean a trashed body or does the elation from the PR eliminate some of the muscle soreness?</b><br />
</div><div><p>I'm slightly sore, but not like I have been in the past. Weird, isn't it? Maybe it was the elation. Who knows. I feel fine today and will run this evening.<br />
</p></div><div><b>23. How will you build on this confidence with your upcoming performance at the underpants run? Do you plan to do anything differently this year based on this recent performance? </b><br />
</div><div><p>I intend to run the Upderpants Run tomorrow slightly fatter than last year. Unfortunately. And I think the team bikini is shiny, this time. Whether or not there's a skull on the crotch is TBD.<br />
</p></div>The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3555099985275043749.post-85686177987426323462012-10-03T21:51:00.004-07:002012-10-03T21:51:48.121-07:00WhatWhat is it that I want? What do I desire? What do I crave? What do I wish for?<br />
<br />
To start with, I feel utterly content these days. So, this is a strange time to ponder such a question. However, it also feels oddly appropriate to dissect my wants at a time when I have no real needs. My life is good, so why not inspect what motivates me, what gets me out of bed in the morning and keeps my blood pumping.<br />
<br />
While it may sound boring, I honestly want to get more familiar with the nuances of the system I'm working on with my new job. I've only been exposed to it for 8 weeks, but I am surrounded by a bunch of really smart and motivated people and that has me feeling the sting of being the FNG, a title I will hold until Monday when our most recent new hire starts his journey. I don't like not knowing as much about the system as everyone else. I want to at least reach a level of competence in excess of my current level of comprehension. I want to be able to contribute in a timely manner and not have to have to learn everything the hard way. I want to come through in the clutch instead of delivering late and forgetting about important details. I want to contribute to creative design and problem solving. I want to have some small piece of this app to call my own.<br />
<br />
I also want a whole lot outside of work. So off we go down that rabbit hole.<br />
<br />
I want a life partner who is happy with and without my presence. Perhaps more specifically, I want a life partner who is able to enjoy or at least tolerate my idiosyncrasies. It seems to me, after a number of wobbly trips down my cobblestone highway of a personality, that I am an extremely difficult partner. I don't like that label so much, and yet I'm unsure how to resolve this problem without abandoning my sense of self, without giving up the parts of me which make me special. I sometimes wonder if a waiting period should be required in order to date me, sort of like purchasing a handgun. Anyway, bottom line, I long for a healthiness which doesn't mean I'm off the hook when it comes to effort, but some sort of natural state which doesn't depend on my ability to be someone I am not.<br />
<br />
I want a child. Not two, although I'd consider that, but just one. I think one is cool. I like the 2 parents to one child ratio. I think that works. I feel like my clock is running out though.<br />
<br />
I want to lead a group within the context of yoga, running, etc. I really enjoyed today's workout because I finally got to actually lead my athletes through their first set of intervals. I yelled, I blew my whistle, and I ran around everyone until well after sunset. However, tonight also felt a lot like herding cats, with 90% of my effort being used up by logistical concerns. I sometimes wonder if the team would be better off with a more simple minded cheerleader type of coach. Or an enforcer type of coach who sticks to the plan and doesn't improv or explain, just takes convention as fact and spoon feeds it. We'll see where things are at as the season progresses. Ideally, though, this leadership would eventually transition into the yoga studio, a space where everyone can come and go as they please without me having to worry about tracking any lost sheep. I know I enjoy this type of dynamic, of leading and motivating a group, of sharing my quirks with others and feeding off their energy as they would feed off mine.<br />
<br />
Finally, I want more time, more time to write, read, learn, etc. I also want to spend more time alone, perhaps one day incorporating meditation. But the problem with all that is that I already feel like I've been drifting away from many of the friends I cherish the most lately because I find myself completely over-scheduled. I don't think I have any free time in my calendar before Thanksgiving. Missing out on good friends bums me out as much as not having enough "me" time. So, at the heart of things, I really want more time overall, more time to do more. Maybe I should stop sleeping.<br />
<br />
I'm unsure if I want to race seriously again. I might change my mind if I could focus on training without worrying about income and work. For now I feel completely content without racing. Not because I don't love racing, but because I feel like I would rather give it a full effort than anything half-assed.<br />
<br />
I don't know if I want to move ever again. I think I want to stay in this house as my residence forever or at least for the next 20+ years. I'm happy here. I wish it weren't so expensive to live in SD, but I frequently feel like it might actually be worth it, even with the traffic.<br />
<br />
I've wavered on if I want another dog. I think I've come to the conclusion that Hunter will be my one and only soulmate of a pet. Perhaps if I had a child who wanted a dog that would be the right time to consider another one.<br />
<br />
I want to travel and see the world but I can wait on that until I'm squared away a bit more on the home front.<br />
<br />
I want my garage cleaned and my bikes functional. That's a simple matter of putting in a few hours. I seem to be stalling on that indefinitely.<br />
<br />
I want to purge my closet of half the junk that's in there but I have a hard time getting rid of good stuff.<br />
<br />
I want to go to sleep because I'm tired. So I think it's time to do that.The Suffer Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14468089084729943006noreply@blogger.com4