Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Can't Stand Still

As I listen to "Can't Stand Still" from Mike Gordon's 11/16/2010 show I can't help but embody the sentiment that song expresses. My legs are jumping all over each other, my skin shivers and various muscles twitch sporadically and without warning. Tomorrow marks the official beginning of the journey to PHS where 300m on the track will hopefully erase the pain of the 100 mile march to get there.

From this interview by Mike Greenhaus, I was amused to read some of Mike Gordon's thoughts on his song which grew out of a collaborative birthday present from Mike, Page, and Fish to Trey while Trey was in rehab as a collection of 43 loops of 43 second jams:

The lyrics are about this can’t stand still feeling—this feeling I have when I go on my run everyday, and I just want to go faster. I don’t go too fast but I want to. And I run through lots of people and see lots of things and, with this song, I wanted it to be like a movie where scenes are flashing by. I have this feeling in my life too, you know? Clearly I’m not satisfied just having my Phish career. My solo career is as important to me, and I want to just run with it as fast as I can, though maybe it is actually going pretty slow in a certain sense. “Can’t Stand Still” represents the feeling of just doing a lot and that song and that meaning became more important than the original jam session.

Mike, you said it well. I can't stand still right now. I can't think, can't focus, can't apply myself to anything. I'm shaking like an addict. Images flash in front of my eyes and words fall through my head and shatter to the floor. Nothing sticks.

This experience has become an obsession. It's far more intense and overwhelming that I ever thought it would be. I have no idea what to expect of the day, and especially no idea how to deal with running from before sunrise through sunset and possibly through a second sunrise. The deeper I explore this race, the more I learn about the heros and past/present participants, the bigger it becomes. In the grand scheme of things, this isn't going to be a life altering experience. I'm not giving birth, saving a life, or making the world a better place. But the real present that is about to be unwrapped is a closer look at myself. I'm expecting to experience a moment, or perhaps heaps of moments, where I'll get to meet the real Dave Easa, shake his hand, pick him up off the ground, dust him off, dry his eyes, maybe even kick him in the ass, and send him on his way to Robbe Point.

1 comment:

  1. all you really have to do is put one foot in front of the other until you reach the finish. have fun!