Two years ago I was hurt, I was in pain. Ironically, my lifetime fitness peaked during that same time, I chose to work through my emotional pain with a steady diet of physical challenges. Two years ago I was bitter, guarded, and fairly angry. I ran with fear, I ran with hate, I ran with reckless abandon. When Todd first met me, he was amused. Since then we've become good friends.
In 2010 I began my yoga practice. There was no reason for this other than a sudden availability, free time which did not previously exist allowed me to create space for a new passion. It wasn't the smoothest of starts as those initial trips to yoga tropics seemed more like a beatdown than a buildup. I found a community at Haute and another one when CorePower opened the Encinitas studio. I now have many wonderful friends within the yoga community and they make me feel a lot like my running friends do, sweaty hugs and all.
Yesterday's noon practice was one of the most physically open moments I've ever had on the mat. I felt a union between my forehead and knee in a few poses which exceeded any prior sensations. In extended side angle I felt both length and rotation, a rare moment where my body could attempt more than one thing at a time. Reflecting back on where I began when I bought that first yoga mat I am truly amazed at the quantity of change that is available over 24 months.
I get a little hung up on how much life rules this year. I'm no longer healing from pain, I am no longer searching for joy, and I am no longer wishing I could add something to my life. I am actively creating joy, indulging in my passions, and experiencing moments of bliss. My pot feels full, in fact it feels like it is overflowing from the contributions of friends and family, work and life, running and yoga. I am fit but I don't know when my next race is and I don't care that much either. My practice is flowing well but I don't really have the same agni about progress, I am content to observe progress walking towards me vs me chasing it down. I am busy and yet some of my favorite time is spent bumming around the yoga studio geeking out about poses and learning how to do the front desk work. Hunter is old and overweight and perpetually stinky but his mind is every bit of what it has always been and we are such old friends that our understanding crosses the boundaries of verbal communication into the subconscious.
Two years later, I can honestly say, life is good.