Today marks the end of my 2nd season of coaching for Team Challenge San Diego to raise money for the CCFA. As is often the case, the sophomore year tends to carry along a certain clarity of vision. I don't want this post to mire the energy, enthusiasm or effort that so many have put into the CCFA and the event itself, but there are some things I have a tendency to dislike about Las Vegas.
1. Gluttony. I still can't erase the memory of actor Bob Mack's death in the movie Se7en where he is forced to eat himself to death. Las Vegas represents, embodies, and promotes gluttony. As someone who has several hard-wired tendencies to over-indulge in all aspects of life, this environment tends to stray from healthy and balanced. As a result, I feel a strong desire to leave as soon as I arrive, not unlike an instinctual gag reflex.
|Gluttony can kill if Kevin Spacey has a say in it.|
|Someone actually thought this was a good ad???|
4. Crowds. At almost every race I go to I feel like a tremendous introvert. I hide from the masses, I start on one side or the other or I do whatever I can to sneak into the elite tent just to get some separation from the bodies. Contrast this with how I feel at my home studio, where I am genuinely excited and happy to see all my friends, where I am at times boisterous and effusive. I like groups of 20-30, up to 50 or 60 even. Once a crowd swells to multiple hundreds or even thousands I shrink away. This is yet another reason why I think I could never be a politician or public speaker, not that I mind speaking to large numbers of people, but more that I just don't like being that close to a crowd.
5. Hotels. I've had some fun travel and some less fun travel over my 38 years of life. I used to be a total race whore but I've cooled substantially. I believe my father enjoys the hotel experience, and all of the associated newness of a space that starts off foreign and often slightly different than any other space previously encountered. I've always been more apt to want to customize my space to suit my daily life, I slant more towards preprogrammed routine than spontaneous improvisational living. While I've made some strides towards being flexible, while I think I can have a good time just about anywhere, I've noticed as I age that I really prefer to be in my space. I think that is the whole reason for owning, for remodeling, and for attempting to create a "home" out of a house. Vegas is the opposite, a place to go to escape all of that.
|Dice is the only show other than Cirque which interests me.|
Too bad I miss him by a couple of days.
So, there you have it. The race starts in about 5 hours but we group up in 3. I'll be outside from about 4 until 9 and hopefully I won't be too frozen at that point. Then I hop in the shower, try to find some food, pack, and head back to San Diego at midnight. The intention is to be at my studio at 5:15 in time to set up for the first day of boot camp. It'll be an endurance event of sorts, but not one which fits into the mold.
I'm unsure how I feel about heading to Honolulu on Wednesday. Part of me just really wants to be home, to finish up my geekdesk (photos soon) and maybe get my nas squared away and start work on bringing the leftover parts back to life as either a web server or htpc. The observer notices this and wonders why I am trending towards introvert, what is causing me to seek out this time to balance myself? Most of me really wants to get some quality workouts in, some longer runs, some yoga, and I can only do that when I hide out from the rest of the world so maybe I'm not feeling healthy because I don't feel fit? A big part of me feels that I've been a lousy dad for Hunter, that his days are numbered and I'd really like to spend some time around him, give him a bath, get him to the vet, get his nails clipped, pay them their $500 fee to tell me he's an old dog. Then there is Cody who I haven't seen since Halloween.
Waking up in Vegas today feels kind of strange. I don't know why I am here.