I am less than one hour away from walking through a door. A door I am scared to enter even though I've been through it before. Once. My only visit to the Ashtanga Yoga Center was my first 108 sun salutations as part of a fundraiser for the Sean O'Shea Foundation which brings yoga to youth.
This time it will be different. This time it will be my first attempt at the entire primary series. There are many asanas I cannot do. No matter how much my mind wills my body into form, the body revolts or ignores or simply blocks those signals. And then there are all of the motions which simply take me a lot longer than they should, warrior I for example. This class will be in real time, not slow motion. Shane will be there to demonstrate but not to support or assist me. I will certainly fall over many times. I will be humbled.
Of course the big reason for all of this is to be in the same room with one of yoga's masters, Tim Miller. I've heard his name so many times since I started practicing that I can't remember a time when I didn't find it familiar. Many great yogi's would love to have the opportunity to take Tim's class. I feel tremendously unworthy to take up a mat space, but invigorated to have the opportunity to do so.
There will be a follow up to this with my thoughts after class. Right now I'm focusing on my breath, trying to contain my excitement and my anxiety about what is about to come.