Thursday, March 8, 2012


I have three weeks before my attempt to run three miles faster than I ever have.  I'm starting to get nervous about it, even though I feel like the work I've been doing with the Phat Kidz has been trending in a very positive direction.
Me, Brian DeMare, ?, Aaron Culliney
In metric form, I am attempting 5000m at a pace that exceeds my fastest 3200m on record.  There is something daunting about that, trying to beat your best time and then continue on for half the distance you just ran.

My mom had such great penmanship
Coach David Kloz has all sorts of fluffy words to describe what I should be feeling.  But for now, it's just unsettled uncertain energy.  This attempt might go well or it could go horribly wrong and I won't really know until I'm knee deep in the middle of it.  There's something exciting about all of the unknowns in that equation.
Deanna Lin took these photos
Mostly, I'm nervous that I won't respond properly to the searing pain of a 5000m effort.  It takes a suspension of disbelief for 15 minutes to accomplish a PR at that distance and I worry that my mind won't shut down, that I won't be able to clear my head at the precise moment I need to in order to run beyond what my body has done before.

I used to run the 4x400 after my 3200 just for fun
But I have to try.  Because each time we try, we learn.  And the more we learn, the better equipped we are to deal with all that life can throw at us.


  1. This is awesome!
    1. Because of the old school pics!
    2. Because me mom recorded my hs race results the same way!:)
    3. Because your becoming a middle distance diva--no time to think--just run!!!!

    1. I should scan the photos. Maybe I'll grab my friend's scanner this weekend. The camera photos don't come out very clear.

      I remember thinking track was so not cool and cross country was even worse. I always wanted to be better at water polo. Running just wasn't what the cool kids did. All my friends, the guys I looked up to and wanted to be more like, they all were strong in the water. None of them could run very well.

      Senior year was the first year I put effort into my track season. You can see the payoff towards the end of the season in my 3200 times. I think watching Culliney dominate the 800 was an eye opener. He used to take the first lap super easy, just watching everyone else and waiting. Then from 400 to 500 he would turn on the engine and drop everyone. While the others were dying on the back straight he was still accelerating. On the final turn he built a 100m gap, and then he would close like a champ, usually cracking 2 minutes. We called him "The Beast" and everyone would yell like crazy for him.

      I wound up making the state qual time (I'm sure by California standards the Hawaii state times are pretty soft) and I scored a point in the state meet (mostly because the 3200 is the 2nd to last event and the team standings were set by that point so nobody cared.) I remember the tension I felt warming up that night, how even as a senior and probably closer in size to the shot putters than the distance runners that I felt so insecure, so unprepared, so unqualified, especially against the rail-thin public school kids. My point did not affect the team results, but it meant the world to me at the time, a PR, a point, a brief smile from the crustiest track coach I've ever known, and most importantly, one of those moments I'll remember forever. A moment where I overcame my own doubts and made myself proud.

  2. Your mom's record-keeping is so cute and again, makes me want to be a better mom so that mine have stuff like this some day!

    Nice improvement over the course of the 92 track season.

    5k is the perfect distance for seeking suffering.